Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Ask Andrew - The Lady Readers


Dear Andrew

Why do you think women like gay novels so much?  I am in a Facebook group and there is a woman that posts photos of men who love each other. I'm not offended, of course, but I wonder....  As a writer, do you find this a little disconcerting? 

Thank you
Agnese

Dear Agnese

I am asked this type of questions a lot.  I go to various conventions, even gay romance conventions, and I am one of the few men there, either as an author or a reader.  I have talked to many readers and I have to say that I have the answer to your question.  There isn't one answer.  Readers are fans of gay romance for a wide variety of reasons.  Some ladies read gay romance for the heat and the passion of two men together.  Some read because they see the relationship between men as a sort of forbidden fruit.  There is the 'ones good, two's better' answer I get quite often as well, sort of along the line of why straight men like two women together. The answer I like most is that many women feel that love is love, period.  That answer warms my heart no end. 

As for the second part of your question.  I don't find this fascination with men loving each other disconcerting at all.  I thank all the wonderful women and the powers that be for each and every one of my lady readers.  Without them I wouldn't be able to do what I love to do so much.   And I see the effects of this openness and acceptance in many facets of life from the death of DOMA to the rising acceptance of marriage equality.  The attitudes of society are changing and those changes are driven by women.  I further believe that some of the main drivers of that change are romance readers.  They are open minded, vocal, and I love them all.  My lady gay romance readers are amazing and they have helped change the world, or at least my world for the better. 

Hugs and love
Andrew

Ask Andrew is your chance to ask questions of a gay romance author.  The questions can be about the writing process in general, writing sex scenes, gay men, sex, characters in romance, characters having sex... okay you probably get the picture.    I promise to answer your questions as frankly and with as much humor as I possibly can.

So if you have a question, please send it to andrewgreybooks@comcast.net.  This is different from my usual email so your questions don't get lost.  I will answer one question a week.

Please remember this is meant to be all in fun.  (I was going to say good, clean fun, but who wants that.)    So send me your questions and let's see what mischief we can get into.

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8 comments:

  1. You are right love is love it has no gender

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  2. I too am of the Love is Love mind set :) I'd also like to add this...I find that in the M/M books that I read, the romance, love and commitment in those seem to be deeper and stronger than in some of the M/F books I also enjoy. Now this is just MY opinion mind you :)

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  4. I agree with LeeAnn Pratt on the level of final love & commitment in m/m books. There is also always a valid reason to struggle for this commitment. We are allowed inside a world that we are not part of exclusively because of our gender. The only way we can know & appreciate the the battles & struggles of gay men is to be enlightened thru books. Our learning of these terrible ... In most cases ... wars to be together is what gives us an empathic understanding. Due to open writing about the guy culture allows everyone to see that LOVE IS LOVE ... no matter the genders. It puts to rest that nasty assumption men don't have emotions or want 'forever' relationships. I memorialize the day I found the m/m genre of books ... had to look hard to find it back in the 'good old' days. Our next move is to get the books in our local bookstores and public libraries. Still a battle to be won there! My eternal Thanks to all of the authors ... especially the men ... who open themselves up and write about this normal blessing where LOVE IS LOVE has been found by all.

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  5. I am one who actually loves these stories for all of the above reasons Andrew!! But truly the fact that LOVE is celebrated in whatever way is important, real, wonderful, messy and awesome is so wonderful to see with these stories and my hope is that you write for LOTS of years to come!!!

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  6. I love reading them because it shows a softer side to a guy and I think that everyone deserves to love and be loved by someone.

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  7. Your post here, Andrew, is a perfect example of one of the many reasons I love m/m romance and the reader/writer community. Thanks for making all your women readers feel special!

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  8. I agree with LeeAnn Pratt. M/M romance is more exciting, is written with deeper emotions and commitments. After reading for 40+ years I find the M/F romance novels rather boring.

    I have always supported equality. But since beginning to read the M/M romance I am now an outspoken proponent for same sex marriage.

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