For 49 weeks of the year, I am insanely glad I live in Perth. This is home. This is where my family is. This pace of life I understand.
But for three weeks of the year I hate that I live so far away from EVERY GREAT THING THAT HAPPENS ON THIS PLANET.
This week is one of them. GRL is happening over in the US and I wanna be there.
What is GRL? you ask? Where the hell have you been? GRL is the annual Gay-Rom-Lit convention – a huge amount of m/m authors from all over the world attending one conference. They have a week of workshops, followed by a weekend of interaction with the readers. It sounds fantastic, and I’m #GRLjealousy!
So why didn’t you go? you ask? Did you know that the Sydney-Dallas/Fort Worth flight is the longest non-stop flight in the world? Did you know that Perth to Sydney is another 4 hours on top of that? Did you know that the flights alone to get me to the US would be just under $3000? Did you know that I don’t have a spare $3000 just hanging around my bank account waiting to be spent?
It is unfortunate then, that I have to sit at home and content myself with looking at the pictures and reading about everyone having a great time.
So, in order to cheer myself up, I’m going to list:
ten great things about NOT going to GRL this year.
#1 – I don’t miss out on a week of writing
By missing out on all the workshops and the meeting of people, it means I get to stay at home and write some more. And I’m a writer. So it is good to write. Right?
#2 – I don’t get bruises from all the hugging and greeting going on
I mean, from the pictures, there seems to be a lot of hugging. And excited hugging at that. So I’m sure all the authors attending are rather bruised. Meanwhile I’m at home, completely unharmed.
#3 – I’m not going deaf from all the squealing happening
I understand there is a lot of excitement occurring. And I’m sure there is squealing happening – and a lot of it at close range to ears. I like my hearing. So I’m glad I’m not there where I could possibly be going deaf.
#4 – I don’t have a sore throat from the huge amount of talking I would be doing
One little secret about me? It’s hard to shut me up when you get me started. (It’s the cross of life I bear). There are plenty of questions flying around at GRL, chats, questions and answer sessions, workshops, etc. I would have a sore throat from all that talking. I’m glad I’m not there, or I would have a sore throat.
#5 – I don’t have a sore hand from signing autographs
I mean, no author likes signing autographs, right?
#6 – I will have a lot more fun at home
Fun happens at my house every single day that doesn’t compare to GRL at all. Hey – I had such a blast at home today! I collected eggs from my hens, did the dishes, cleaned the toilets and (the highlight) my car had trouble starting this morning. I nearly had to walk the kids to school. It’s clear my life is a barrel of laughs!
#7 – I won’t get fat from all the great food they are consuming
I’m on a diet (she says as she crunches through a handful of chips).
#8 – I won’t embarrass myself singing karaoke or sucking badly at roulette
Nothing is worse than looking bad in front of friends (and having pictures to prove it).
#9 – I don’t need to meet all those wonderful people
I can talk to them over FB, right?
#10 – I don’t need to travel to another country and see the sights
I can look at pictures. I don’t need to see it for myself. (sob) Right?
Are there any reasons you are glad you aren’t there?
How to contact Renae: