So please bear with me, this post might ramble a bit but by the end, I think you'll know why. Its a day I've been thinking about and dreading for eighteen years.
This weekend we are taking my son up to Canada where he will be attending college. It's a ritual thousands of people perform this time of year, and it isn't my first round at the rodeo; my daughter graduated college this year.
But now, when we say goodbye, we'll return home to the empty nest. You've seen the jokes on TV; the mom and dad dancing for joy in the empty house, changing the child's room to an office, game room or whatever.
I've had eighteen years to prepare but I am not ready. Nope, nuh uh, no way. I'm not prepared to come home to no one lying on the sofa watching the food network, no empty cereal plate on the floor and no dirty dishes in the sink.
I'm not ready for no texts telling me where he's going to be after school and on the weekends.
I'm not ready to not wait up on Friday and Saturday nights to make sure he got home safe from a party or a friend's house.
I'm not ready.
But he is. He's excited, nervous, scared, happy and about to step on a rollercoaster that will take him on the most unknown and thrilling ride of his life. And I'm nervous, scared, excited and happy for him.
So when we drive away on Monday and leave him, I'm not going to cry. Maybe. Hopefully. But Monday night I'll be a mess. Bring on the wine, the chocolate cause all bets are off.