Friday, September 20, 2013

A Very Sad Week...

This week has made me a mess.  I got word from my daughter on Monday that my ex-wife, Kaththea Spurlock, had died.

It was a shock. The first two days all I could think about was my daughter. She was overwhelmed. Her world has been rocked. She doesn’t know what to do. And I don’t know either.

Be there. Try and be there. Today I am taking her to a movie, along with my ex’s twin sister. I wonder which of them is the most devastated. The daughter? The twin. They say no one can know what it is like to be a twin except a twin. No one can understand the bond. How will Kaththea’s sister go on? They’ve lived together almost their entire lives. The years I lived with Kaththea, we mostly lived with her sister as well.

Day before yesterday it finally hit me. Kaththea is gone. I will never see her again. Never hear her voice again. We will never talk about my daughter again, consult each other when she has a problem. We will never laugh over birthday cake again. Recommend a good movie or borrow a book from each other.

Just because our partnership ended a long, long time ago doesn’t mean we don’t have a bond. God. Excuse me. Had a bond. Gosh, I am crying again.

Kaththea, wherever you are, know that I loved you as well as I could as a gay man. Know that I love you now and always will. It is more than just the fact that we have a daughter together. It is that your heart shown out to me that weekend we met so long ago. Your smile was infectious. Your generosity and your guidance and your love were amazing.

What’s more, you even cared for the man I married. And he cared for you as well.

And you helped me on my path to learning to write. You sure could edit! Bold men feared her red pen!

And I think you were proud that I am being published. I hope you were.…

Kaththea, I honor you and hold you high.

Thank you for teaching me to love.

Obituary:  Kathea Spurlock, Edwardsville, KS, died September 16, 2013. She is survived by her daughter, Jayli, twin sister, Linad, sister, Shellie and her nephew, Eli.

So short! Her whole life summed up in these few words??  No way!  Today my daughter and Kaththea’s sister will talk about her all day!

Kaththea and her sister Linad.




  1. My thoughts are with you. There were also kind comments left for you here:

  2. Sending loving thoughts out to everyone who loves and misses Kaththea.