Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Ask Andrew - Cherry Busting

Dear Andrew

But I have a question for you. Being the mother of a young gay man. He has been topping since he came out last year now he wants to bottom. But I want him to wait until he finds his "forever". Now with that said what is the best advice you can give a young man who want to loose his anal cherry?

Hugs Monique
Dear Monique
I'm about to go all After School Special on you for a minute so bear with me.  Sex is best when it involves the heart and soul as well as the body.  There is something magical about sex when the person you are with touched your emotions as well as your body.  Its what we write in romances because its what we all long for.  So I love your advice about waiting for his "forever" but sometimes that isn't realistic.  Especially for guys.  But your advice is very sound and I'd like to tell him the same thing.  I wish I had waited for my "forever."
However, you asked for my advice for bottoming the first time.  There are three things that are critical.  One is a trusted partner.  You ladies understand this point well.  You are about to allow someone else to enter your body.  That requires a level of trust and that trust will allow the experience to be that much more fulfilling and remove some of the tension or worry from the situation.   The second item that is critical is preparation and plenty of it, fingers, tongue, even a small toy can help, but I like the parts that are attached to my lover the best.  The point is to loosen the muscles and try to minimize any pain that will be experienced during initial penetration.  Also this foreplay is fun, enjoyable, and should not be rushed.  Take the time to get to know what is pleasurable and where to touch, it can make all the difference.   
The third critical item is lube, glorious lube.  (I almost broke into song there)  Lots of it, buckets of the stuff.  Okay, I'm exaggerating.  Lube is always important, but for a first time, its even more important.  All of the sensations encountered will be for the first time.  Lube helps smooth the way and makes everything easier.  Trust me on this, I can't stress the importance of lots of lube.  The ultimate goal is a first that that is as memorable and special as possible.    In order for this to happen, all three of these items need to come together in a safe, relaxed environment with a partner willing to take the time and care to help ensure a magical first time. 
Ask Andrew is your chance to ask questions of a gay romance author.  The questions can be about the writing process in general, writing sex scenes, gay men, sex, characters in romance, characters having sex... okay you probably get the picture.    I promise to answer your questions as frankly and with as much humor as I possibly can.

So if you have a question, please send it to  This is different from my usual email so your questions don't get lost.  I will answer one question a week.

Please remember this is meant to be all in fun.  (I was going to say good, clean fun, but who wants that.)    So send me your questions and let's see what mischief we can get into.

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  1. Thank you I was waiting for the song and the flushing out. But I got it. Thank you.

  2. Very heart felt and well spoken Andrew!

  3. Great advice! And yeah, my brain totally went to the song too, lol.
    Thanks for sharing and being so open with the questions posed :)

  4. A wonderful answer, Andrew. Although, my first time there was trust and lube, but no prep, and it was still quite enjoyable. He was, however, very experienced and patient. And, of course, didn't have to worry about finding a prostate gland!

  5. Your answer was perfect but I was just thinking if the guy has been topping and he has been treating his partners right, you could tell him to look for someone who will do the same for him.