Wednesday, July 2, 2014

Ask Andrew - Preparation

Dear Andrew

In many of the MM romance books, a lot of time is spent with the "preparation". Is this fact or fiction?  Cuz I'll tell ya, if I hear one more, one finger, then two, then scissoring, I will SCREAM!

Dear Chutchy

I have to tell you your question made me smile.  Because I hear you.  In fiction, the preparation is sometimes over described, but it's my opinion that authors are trying to be sensitive to real world facts.  Because in real life, preparation is of major importance. 

Ladies, I'm going to ask you to do something for me.  Tonight when you're in bed, lean over to your husband or boyfriend and tell him you have a hankering for anal sex and to just go for it.   You want it and you want it now.  If he takes you at your word, and let's hope he doesn't.  The first thing that's going to happen when he tries to enter you is you are going to scream and then claw his eyes out (ladies, please don't try this at home).  :)

Anal sex requires preparation, and the preparation, if done right, can be pleasurable and a wonderful part of foreplay.  I know that the one finger, two finger thing is a little predictable, and as authors it is our challenge to come up with alternate ways to describe preparation without it becoming tired.  In some cases I have read where the preparation wasn't skipped over, but mentioned, the way condom use is mentioned, and then the author moved on.  That was both refreshing and literarily accurate.

Hugs and Love

Ask Andrew is your chance to ask questions of a gay romance author.  The questions can be about the writing process in general, writing sex scenes, gay men, sex, characters in romance, characters having sex... okay you probably get the picture.    I promise to answer your questions as frankly and with as much humor as I possibly can.

So if you have a question, please send it to  This is different from my usual email so your questions don't get lost.  I will answer one question a week.

Please remember this is meant to be all in fun.  (I was going to say good, clean fun, but who wants that.)    So send me your questions and let's see what mischief we can get into.

Visit Andrew on Facebook:  and you can join Andrew's fan group All The Way With Andrew Grey.

Follow him on Twitter:  @andrewgreybooks

Visit Andrew's web site:  www,


  1. Ah - now this post made me smile. I agree - it can't work without preparation. But I have another question because that annoys me all the time...I mean, maybe it's just me but I get irritated when authors describe the first lubed finger already as "burning or hurting". I mean, it isn't that there doesn't come stuff out of the ass from time to time (at least it should, otherwise you have a problem :D ) so one finger really is only a hurting experience when the person who bottems clenches up ...and then they have another problem in my opinion. What is your take on that?

  2. Oh wow. Loved the question, lol. I bet there's even a lot more to "preparation" than the one finger two finger scissoring in such. You do an amazing job answering our questions, thank you.