Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Ask Andrew - Oral Sex and Condoms

Dear Andrew

I have a question also about the use of condoms. In so many M/M books I have read that many of the relationships just starting out they use condoms for anal sex BUT they don't use the condoms for oral sex. Isn't oral sex as dangerous as anal sex?


Dear Laurel

This was a good question and I had to do some research in order to find an answer.  Notice I didn't say the answer because it seems there isn't one answer.  However in my research the general consensus is that order sex isn't as dangerous as long as neither partner has open sores.  Basically with oral sex it is felt that the various gastric juices will kill any germs and there have been very few reports of HIV being spread through oral sex.  I feel as though I have to say that I am not an expert on the spread of disease.  (Can't you just hear the disclaimers like they have at the end of drug commercials?)

However I can tell you that MM romance novels are not necessarily a recipe for life.  In books most authors use condoms or at least mention condoms for anal sex.  Its something that is expected.  It isn't necessary to detail the entire process, but they should be mentioned.  However for oral sex, I can tell you that there is very little interesting or sexy about sucking on latex.  You can flavor those condoms any way you like, but sucking on them is no fun. 

Romance novels are fantasy, pure and simple.   Nobody wants to kill the fantasy by describing a condom covered blowjob flavored with latex and a hint of chemicals and a picante plastic aftertaste.  :)   As authors we would rather describe the taste of him so for the most part we forego the use of condoms for oral sex.

Hugs and love

Ask Andrew is your chance to ask questions of a gay romance author.  The questions can be about the writing process in general, writing sex scenes, gay men, sex, characters in romance, characters having sex... okay you probably get the picture.    I promise to answer your questions as frankly and with as much humor as I possibly can.

So if you have a question, please send it to  This is different from my usual email so your questions don't get lost.  I will answer one question a week.

Please remember this is meant to be all in fun.  (I was going to say good, clean fun, but who wants that.)    So send me your questions and let's see what mischief we can get into.

Visit Andrew on Facebook:  and you can join Andrew's fan group All The Way With Andrew Grey.

Follow him on Twitter:  @andrewgreybooks

Visit Andrew's web site:  www,


  1. Thank you so much for taking the time to answer my question, that always puzzeled me. I have to agree with the the latex taste even the flavored leaves a lot to be desired. Lol. Have a great day.

  2. Just the thought of latex makes me gag. Thanks Andrew! I love reading these questions and answers!

  3. Picante? LoL. How about chocolate? Great question and an interesting topic to research.

  4. I'm allergic to latex. No way in heck I'm sucking on lambskin...