Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Ask Andrew - Glimpses of Life

Dear Andrew

In your books, there are often precise descriptions of professional activities: computer, pastry, woodcarving, conducting an orchestra and composing music, and of course ranching, to mention just a few. It's mostly not just the overall general stuff, but glimpses into very specific aspects or techniques. It certainly lends credibility to both your characters and your stories. Where or how do you get this info?
Dear Madeleine
That's a good question because sometimes I wonder that myself.  :)  Honestly, I'm a fifty plus year old man who has had the blessings of living a life with varied experiences and my own extraordinary cast of characters around me.  I do tend to pick subjects that I know something about.  As an example, while I have never conducted an orchestra, I know people who have and I spent many years singing in choirs.  My partner worked as a pastry chef for many years so all things cooking are bandied about in our house all time.  (This is one of our differences.  He's a foodie and loved to discuss everything he eats.  Me I eat so I can go on to other things.  Whenever I say that, he looks at me like I'm some pitiable fool and then goes right on talking.)  I once asked my eye doctor during my exam for information so I could explain why a character was blind.  That was a hoot.  :)
There is another tool that is the writer's friend, Google.  Research is sometimes the key to getting some of the details right.  However I have learned that sometimes it can lead you astray as well.  So I try to use multiple sources and check facts as well as possible.  Then once I have these facts I relate them to something I already know. 
I have to say that I use knowledge, research, and then mix them in my own imagination to come up with the story and how I'm going to use them in the story.   And lastly I have to give credit to my amazing editor.  Not only does she edit my words, but she also checks facts and has additional experts review my work to help make sure that I have my facts straight. 
Hugs and Love
Ask Andrew is your chance to ask questions of a gay romance author.  The questions can be about the writing process in general, writing sex scenes, gay men, sex, characters in romance, characters having sex... okay you probably get the picture.    I promise to answer your questions as frankly and with as much humor as I possibly can.

So if you have a question, please send it to  This is different from my usual email so your questions don't get lost.  I will answer one question a week.

Please remember this is meant to be all in fun.  (I was going to say good, clean fun, but who wants that.)    So send me your questions and let's see what mischief we can get into.

Visit Andrew on Facebook:  and you can join Andrew's fan group All The Way With Andrew Grey.

Follow him on Twitter:  @andrewgreybooks

Visit Andrew's web site:  www,

Tuesday, October 28, 2014


<Sean> hey
<BA> Boo, y'all
<Sean> yes, boo!
<Sean> Halloween!
<julia> waves
<Sean> in five days
<BA> O.o
<julia> yay Halloween
<BA> I haven't watched Halloween or Deep Blue Sea or the Haunting of Hell House ONCE
<BA> I've got to get on it
<Sean> sounds like you have some catching up to do!
<julia> we have no candy
<Sean> you still have a few days to get some
<julia> and lots of kids in the new neighborhood
<BA> we have a bowl with skeleton legs
<Sean> get the little mini-chocolate bars
<Sean> those are the best
<Sean> and yes, I'm channeling Rock right now
<BA> we need something lit up
<BA> heeeee
<Sean> and I may have eaten my share of Halloween candy already...
<BA> I've been on a bit of a candy corn binge
<Sean> believe it or not, I don't like the candy corn
<BA> you're a freak of nature
<Sean> I know it's un-Halloween of me
<Sean> but there you have it
<Sean> nods-- I am
<BA> candy corn is the perfect candy
<Sean> it has a taste to it, that I don't appreciate
<Sean> and it smells funny
<julia> she likes the green apple candy corn best
<julia> I like the caramel apple
<BA> nods
<BA> I do
<BA> the apple pie candy corn is also good
<Sean> green apple, apple pie and caramel apple?
<julia> no one should ever have to see a close up of Alton Brown's beard
<Sean> these are not candy corn
<BA> nods
<BA> they are too
<BA> says so on the bag
<Sean> are they orange and yellow and white?
<BA> no
<Sean> then they are not candy corn
<julia> nope
<BA> the green apple are red and green and brown
<julia> they're red and brown
<BA> the caramel are brown and yellow and white
<julia> and caramel colored
<Sean> of course, as the only one who does not like candy corn, my vote may be taken with a grain of salt
<julia> what's your very favorite Halloween candy, Sean?
<BA> You're Canadian, you don't get to vote. ;-)
<Sean> LOL
<Sean> candy apples
<BA> grins
<julia> O.o
<julia> wow
<BA> Those are my daddy's favorite
<julia> nods
<BA> he LOVES those
<Sean> I love the crunch and the sweet followed by the tart of the apple
<julia> my mom used to steal my Snickers
<BA> I make a damn nice candy apple cocktail
<Sean> I don't like peanuts and chocolate together
<BA> (freak)
<Sean> you know, maybe I am a freak
<Sean> *grins*
<julia> dude
<BA> I want chocolate chip cookies
<julia> you so are
<julia> I mean
<julia> Reeses
<Sean> yuck
<Sean> Butterfinger -- yuck
<Sean> Snickers -- yuck
<Sean> mmmm chocolate chip cookies
<Sean> I can get behind those
<BA> see, you're a freak
<Sean> as long as you don't put peanuts in them
<julia> LOL
<BA> I love peanut butter cookies
<julia> pecans?
<julia> walnuts?
<Sean> pecans are okay
<BA> Sean hates walnuts
<Sean> I like walnuts in stuff, but if I have them raw they give my mouth hives
<julia> ah
<julia> hrm
<Sean> my favorite nut is the hazelnut
<BA> mmmm
<julia> I also like white chocolate macadamia cookies
<Sean> oh god, Julia yes
<BA> I love all the nuts
<Sean> those are amazing
<Sean> you are all the nuts
<julia> did I ever tell you my mall cookie story sean?
<BA> (note present company)
<Sean> heee, yes, ba
<julia> it's very fitting for Halloween
<Sean> then you must share it
<BA> I love this story
<julia> cackles
<julia> my friend from high school
<Sean> (aka, I can't remember if I've heard it or not)
<julia> we'll call him Michael to protect the innocent
<julia> Goes and buys a bag of white chocolate macadamia cookies at the mall
<julia> he sits on a bench to have one, next to a man who was already sitting there because it was close to Christmas
<julia> no empty seats
<julia> so he gets himself arranged, gets all his bags under the bench, then grabs his bag of cookies and pulls one out
<julia> the man next to him stares
<julia> rudely
<julia> wide eyes, clenched teeth, grippy hands
<julia> so Michael eats his cookie sloooooowly
<julia> licks it
<julia> moans
<julia> practically humps it
<BA> mmmmmmmm...yummy cookie
<Sean> lol
<julia> yes!
<BA> oooooooo....COOOOOOKIES
<julia> then proceeds to eat the whole half dozen just that way
<Sean> lololol
<julia> the man getting more agitated, more upset, freaking out
<julia> finally jumping up and wailing and running away muttering about the crazy bastard on the bench, right?
<julia> so Michael has a good laugh
<julia> thinking how he really got that weirdo
<julia> then?
<julia> he gets up, grabs his bags, and there's HIS bag of cookies with his various shopping bags
<Sean> OMG
<BA> heeeeeeeee
<Sean> *cackles*
<julia> yes!
<julia> right?
<Sean> that's hilarious
<julia> he ate a whoooole bag of someone else's cookies
<julia> I can't believe the guy never said anything
<Sean> I know, eh?
<BA> nods
<Sean> all he had to say was, why are you eating my cookies?
<Sean> or hey, those are my cookies!
<Sean> *anything*
<julia> I think he thought Michael was a serial cookie killer
<Sean> heeeee
<BA> or, what the fuck is wrong with you you insane asshat
<julia> heee
<julia> that also works
<BA> which is what I would do
<julia> I would have quietly gotten security
<julia> but hey, I am somewhere on the law abiding scale between BA and Sean
<Sean> heee
<BA> *grins*
<julia> BA being the least
<BA> What are you trying to say, now?
<julia> Sean being the most of us
<Sean> how much of a serial cookie killer does Michael look like?
<julia> well
<Sean> I mean, the licking and moaning over it wouldn't have helped
<BA> That I may have a touch of moral flexibility
<julia> he looked like Shaggy with black hair
<BA> rut-row raggy
<julia> yep
<julia> and more pimples
<julia> this was 1988 after all
<julia> I am not ashamed to say that was my senior year
<BA> *grins*
<BA> I was not a senior yet
<julia> snort
<julia> you are six months younger than me
<BA> what? it's true!
<BA> yep
<julia> yeah yeah
<Sean> is this the lets remind everyone Sean is older than everyone game?
<BA> you may be taller, blonder and hotter than me
<BA> but I'll ALWAYS be younger
<BA> heeee
<BA> you're older than Jesus, right, Sean?
<julia> ha!
<Sean> that's me
<julia> cackles madly
<julia> yes
<julia> decrepit
<Sean> decrepit
<BA> decrepit
<BA> :D
<BA> So, what's the scariest story you've ever written?
<Sean> hmmmm
<BA> I think mine is Redemption's Ride
<julia> uh
<julia> blink
<Sean> scary's not really in my repertoire
<BA> well, I know
<julia> oh I love redemptions ride
<BA> but I mean, scari-est
<julia> mine is probably um
<julia> poo
<BA> like my favorite of my Halloweeny stories is Fuck Forgiveness
<BA> you don't have a story called poo
<Sean> the tomb one, julia?
<julia> yeah
<BA> I think A Private Hunger, S
<Sean> nods - yeah
<julia> Tomb of the God King
<julia> oh man, yeah
<julia> Private Hunger is so weirdly Stephen King
<Sean> yeah, it's quite different from my usual
<BA> nods -- talk about Stockholm Syndrome. O.o
<julia> hot
<julia> but sad and scary, too
<BA> one of the dogs is pooting up a storm
<BA> O.O
<BA> *.*
<julia> now, that's scary
<BA> #.#
<Sean> ewwww
<julia> eyes watering
<julia> nose singed
<Sean> death immanent?
<BA> they look so harmless...
<julia> then boom
<BA> no
<BA> gas gas gas
<julia> does your dog poot a lot, sean?
<BA> heeeeee
<Sean> not a lot unless you feed him cheese
<julia> then all bets are off?
<Sean> but every now and then he tries to kill me with the gas
<julia> O.O
<Sean> he will also come into the room, poot and then run off again
<BA> was it Chile, J, that would look at her own butt when she pooted, like, OMGWHATWASTHAT?
<julia> yes!
<Sean> LOL
<julia> My mom had a German shepherd hound mix
<julia> and she would explode
<julia> then jump up and look and sniff her own ass
<Sean> lolol
<julia> as if she had no idea what that was
<BA> And then there was Lily
<BA> the farting pitbull of death
<Sean> heeeee
<julia> oh god
<julia> bark
<julia> fart
<julia> bark
<julia> fart
<BA> I tell, y'all, when she got into falafel, we had to LEAVE THE HOUSE
<BA> we were fixin to die for real
<Sean> heeeeeee
<julia> no falafel for the granny pibble
<BA> her tag on her collar?
<julia> LOLOL
<BA> true story
<Sean> *rolls*
<julia> god, she hated Halloween, too
<BA> Halloween
<BA> Independence Day
<BA> New Years
<julia> New Year's eve
<julia> winning Round Rock Express Home games
<BA> she ate an entire turkey the first year we had her
<BA> on Thanksgiving
<julia> was it cooked?
<BA> oh, yeah
<BA> cooked
<BA> sitting on the table
<BA> ready for carving
<julia> oh that blows
<BA> she grabbed it by the leg and headed for the backyard
<Sean> LOLOL
<julia> except no turkey for you
<BA> no turkey for me
<julia> only for lily
<BA> lots of napping for Lily
<julia> like going to BA's Daddy's house
<julia> no turkey for us
<julia> that was like a plague of locusts
<BA> I had the traditional spare ham
<BA> nodnods
<julia> we did at daddy's house too
<BA> my brothers can EAT
<julia> too bad I dislike ham ;)
<julia> so can your neices
<julia> ;)
<BA> and my nephew
<BA> one day we're at Daddy's
<BA> I swear to god, Sean
<BA> I ask my nephew, are you hungry?
<BA> "No, ma'am."
<BA> "Okay, but I'm making breakfast for your pappy, so you can have some."
<BA> I put a pound of bacon in the oven
<BA> I make 2 dozen biscuits
<BA> I start the sausage for gravy
<BA> la la la
<BA> He comes to sit at the counter
<BA> The biscuits come out and he grabs one.
<BA> "Can you make eggs, Aunt Pooh?"
<BA> "Is that real gravy, Aunt Pooh?"
<BA> "Is there more bacon, Aunt LaLa?"
<BA> I swear to you
<BA> this boy
<julia> <I'm LaLa>
<BA> who cannot weigh 60 pounds
<julia> and has a hollow leg O.O
<BA> ate a pound of bacon, four eggs, five biscuits
<BA> and was asking for more
<Sean> O.o
<BA> but he wasn't hungry
<Sean> but he wasn't hungry
<julia> heee
<Sean> imagine what he would have eaten if he was
<julia> his momma doesn't cook
<julia> so he expected it to be icky I think
<julia> ;)
<Sean> ah
<BA> nodnods
<BA> he's a hoot
<julia> and not so little anymore
<BA> when he was wee, he wanted to be a bullrider
<julia> though still tiny for his age
<BA> but now he's a firefighter
<julia> yep
<julia> he's a good kid
<Sean> cool
<BA> yeah
<BA> a good kid
<BA> he went to jail overnight last year
<julia> heee
<BA> what for?
<BA> (he's underage)
<julia> at a bonfire
<Sean> oh lord
 * BA cackles
<julia> such a Texan
<BA> His momma and daddy let him spend the night
<BA> ;-)
<Sean> heeeee
<BA> I have never done that
<BA> I did tell the officer that gave me my driver's test that I wouldn't pour his coffee anymore if he didn't pass me.
<Sean> lol
<BA> and I MAY have yelled at a traffic cop in Austin
<Sean> may have?
<BA> well
<BA> okay
<BA> I totally did
<BA> he TOTALLY deserved it
<BA> You know me, shrinking violet, law-abiding
<BA> (back me up here, guys)
<julia> heee
<julia> yep
<julia> you never got caught
<BA> shit no, you were in the car
<julia> heee
<BA> of course
<BA> the first road trip the three of us took together
<julia> snort
<BA> Julia threatened to fist fight me in a moving car...
<julia> now she's telling tales on us
<BA> *sings* Jesus take the wheel!
<julia> raining in San Antonio
<julia> traffic like hell
<julia> BA says, the urge to toss up my hands and yell Jesus Take the Wheel is huge
<julia> me?
<julia> I was having a bad day
<julia> I might have threatened beatings
<BA> might have
<BA> you scared Sean to death
<julia> heee
<julia> yeah yeah
<Sean> *grinds*
<BA> Are you grinding again?
<Sean> whoops
<Sean> no
<Sean> *grins*
<BA> heeeeee
<Sean> I'm too tired to grind tonight
<Sean> try me tomorrow ;)
<julia> cackles
<julia> and hugs
<julia> we should let you get to bed
<BA> tomorrow we turn in the keys to the rental
<BA> yay!
<Sean> good for you!
<julia> woot
<BA> nods
<julia> go us
<julia> okay
<julia> I have to go make cookies
<julia> :D
<BA> eeeee!
<Sean> mmmm cookies
<BA> *ahem*
<Sean> what kind?
<BA> I like to have a cookie.
<julia> chocolate chip
<julia> Gluten Free
<julia> :D
<Sean> cool
<julia> maybe with nuts if I can find them
<BA> I know where they are!
<Sean> not peanuts!
<julia> nope
<julia> pecans
<BA> It's the only thing in the entire damn house that I can find
<BA> but I know where they are
<julia> heee
<julia> waves and poofs
<julia> night y'all
<Sean> night
<julia> love you bye
<BA> night babe. Love you. :D
<Sean> you too :)

If you have a topic you’d like us to chat about, please let us know. We’re totally up for that. 

You can find us on Twitter at @seanmichael09, @juliatalbot and @batortuga.

Sean’s website is 
Julia’s is
BA’s is
Sean --
Julia --
BA --

Thanks for reading!

Monday, October 27, 2014

Serosorting in Romance by Cardeno C.

September 27th was National Gay Men’s HIV/AIDS Awareness Day. A friend of mine who’s poz posted this blog post on that day with a plea for people to stop serosorting. I've been thinking about it ever since.

There is so much to consider about what he says, so many layers and levels and applications. Serosorting is one, but by no means all. I don’t think I’ll be able to parse through all my own thoughts and feelings for a long time to come, but I decided to start with looking at the article from the overlay of my job as a writer. Or, more specifically, my job as an erotic romance writer.

Condom use comes up a fair bit in this community. Sometimes it’s from editors. Sometimes from readers. Sometimes from other writers. Opinions are all across the spectrum. Some people, whether due to being part of certain generations or having certain life experiences or working in STD prevention fields or something else entirely, feel very strongly that condom usage should be part of every book and every ejaculation (anal and oral). Other people feel there is a raw sexiness to sharing fluids, in mouths, in asses, in asses and then in mouths. And yet others find themselves in any number of places on the spectrum in between.

I think everyone is right about all of those things. What we find erotic is personal to each of us and we will never all agree that the exact same thing is "holy fuck hot" and the exact same thing is "ewww". We’ll also never all agree that the exact same thing is “OMG danger!” and the exact same thing is “Oh, come on, who worries about that?”.

As a writer, I do my best to always know my characters. I consider my writing to be character driven erotic romance. That means characters are the most important part of my books. It means they'll have a romantic relationship that is the focus of the book. It also means they’ll fuck on page and, hopefully, do so in a way that readers find hot.

Now, saying I need to know my characters means I can’t write everyone. There are people I know well who can inspire me. There are people I know not as well who can inspire me. There are people I don’t know at all but who write something (like a blog post) who can inspire me. But there are just as many people who fit into all of those categories that I can’t write because I can’t get into their heads. There are also people who I can’t write because I don’t feel I’m at a place (yet) where I can write their story in a way that either feels true enough for me or feels appropriate for an erotic romance book.

I want to repeat that. An erotic romance book. I write fiction. My stories aren’t real. I try very hard to make my characters relatable. I try very hard to make my stories feel real (vampires and shifters aside). But the fact of the matter is, for me and the types of books I choose to write, realism is no more and no less important than romanticism.

I want to bring the aww moments. I want to deliver warm feelings. I want my readers to smile when they’re reading my books. I’m not writing the news. I’m not writing exposes on injustice. I hope I’m teaching things and sharing important things. But I hope I’m doing it softly, quietly, and with a whole beehive’s worth of honey.

So, how does that relate to the blog post I shared? Well, for starters, it means I will try to write about guys in a way that feels genuine to me within the construct of romance. I personally don’t know anyone who says they use condoms during oral sex. I just don’t. I’m not saying there aren’t people who do it. I’m not even saying I don’t know those people. I’m just saying, I’ve never heard them say it. And I’ve asked. Not before I started reading in this genre, but since.

When I first read a condom blowjob, I was surprised. Eventually, though, I saw it often enough to wonder. I have a giant wall between my writing life and my personal life, but I’m the same person either way so that means I’m not shy. I also know people who work in a variety of fields, including health care. And, more specifically, health care primarily focused on gay men, which means a sizable poz patient population. So I’ve asked friends, gay and straight, single and partnered/married, health care workers and “civilians”.

People I know say they don’t use condoms for oral sex. I personally don’t find the idea of latex in the mouth sexy. So the characters in my erotic romance books don’t use condoms for oral sex.

That’s the easy one, right? I mean, yeah, some people say glove up every time always, but an erotic romance character not using a condom when he’s going down on someone isn’t exactly controversial. But what about anal?

Harder question. Does stopping the scene to cover up take away from the heat? Does not addressing condoms at all worry the reader and therefore take the reader out of the story (which takes away from the heat)? Can condoms be part of the erotic act with the characters touching as they put them on? Can the initial use of condoms with a transition to not using them be used as a tangible means of expressing growth in a relationship so it can be a writing tool? Can using condoms allow for less mess post sex and easy clean-ups? Should characters discuss STD testing and what language should they use about it? Can forgetting a condom be a way to show “oh-my-hell I wanted you so badly I forgot”?

For me, in the context of the erotic romance books I write, the answer to all of those is yes. So I show all of those (and more) in my books.

Hardest question: What about poz guys in erotic romance? I’ve never written a poz main character. Not because I don’t have access to information. Not because I believe poz people can’t have romantic happily ever after relationships. Not because I’ve never thought about it. I haven’t written a poz main character because I don’t want anything but the romantic relationship to be the central focus of my book, I haven’t wanted to step into a health care manual in the middle of it, and I don’t want a dramatic debate after it’s published.

My to-be-written list is long so when an idea pops up that has complications and difficulties (like writing a story with a poz MC without making the story about his status or letting that take over the book or preparing myself for post-publication debates), it tends to get bumped in favor of other things, things that flow easier without the potential for messy drama about one aspect of one character (poz status) overshadowing the point of the book, of all my books (happy, warm, erotic romance).

My friend who posted the blog link on National Gay Men’s HIV/AIDS Awareness Day included this suggestion: “If you’re an HIV-negative gay man and you serosort but want to do something to help end HIV stigma, take a first step. Stop serosorting. Fuck a poz guy. Who knows, he just might be the man of your life.” I think it’s time for me to try harder to integrate that poz character on my to-be-written list into a story. After all, he just might be the man of my other main character’s life.


Saturday, October 25, 2014

Coming soon, new release: Safe in His Arms

Blurb: In the late-night quiet of the caravan park shower room, Lon Taylor washes away the filth of the Western Australian mines. He’s not looking for anyone, but when Casey offers, Lon doesn’t turn him down.

Welcoming the young man in his big, hairy arms, Lon provides a safety to Casey that he has never known, and Casey wants to stay forever. Still reeling from the breakup of his family years ago, Lon’s not sure he’s ready for the responsibility of the comfort and security Casey craves.

But perhaps Lon can risk opening his heart again and hoping for a brighter future. Casey has some pretty big skeletons in his past to deal with. And Lon wonders what Casey will do when he finds out how badly Lon failed at protecting the ones he loved eight years ago.

Coming soon from Dreamspinner Press, 28th November 2014 (Black Friday!)

Why did you write this story?

Some stories just beg to be written. Some stories come out of the blue. Some stories have been brewing for so long it is a relief to get them out. This story started off as something completely different to what it turned out to be.

You see, I’ll let you in a little secret. Authors get jealous – sometimes really jealous. We get jealous that we didn’t think up that great story line. We get jealous of that gorgeous cover. We get jealous that someone’s word count is sky high for the day. Oh, we cheer our author friends on and are genuinely happy for their successes, but sometime we mutter, lock ourselves away and try to come up with the next Twilight or Harry Potter-type super series.

For me, I was jealous of short stories writers. I mean, all my stories seem to come out at 60,000-70,000 words. That takes me months to write. I was jealous of the novella writers who had to write only 20,000 words. I had this crazy idea that I could write a series of short stories – about 5,000 words each, and get them on a website somewhere.

Therefore I set off to write a couple of short stories. They weren’t going to be romance necessarily, because I’m not a fan of insta-love – their eyes met across the room and they instantly knew that they were meant to be together. Blah! But falling in love in less than 5,000 words was a challenge I didn’t think I was up to.

So I was going for more of the erotic stuff. I had this idea to write a series of short-stories based on casual, sexual encounters. Hook ups. I even called my WIP Encounters.

I created this big guy – huge, muscled, tough looking, shaven head, goatee, tall, broad, dangerous looking. He’s big all over, including his… <cough> …thighs. I called him Lon and then I placed him in the shower rooms of a caravan park late at night. He’s been away working for 4 weeks. He’s tired. Exhausted. He just wants to crash into bed. He is all alone – no family, no boyfriend waiting for him.

Then he spots this cute, young thing who is in the deserted shower rooms late at night as well. This boy looks hardly old enough to be legal. He’s thin and scrawny. He looks like a surfer dude. He looks needy and frightened. He also drops to his knees and begs Lon to…. <cough> … Well, you’re just going to have to read it.

So after they’ve… <cough> (I really should get someone to look at this throat)… yeah, umm… <cough> … “hugged,” the young man, Casey, asks Lon if he could stay with him that night, because he doesn’t want to go home. Lon agrees and they walk off into the darkness.

Done! My short story was over.

But my mind wasn’t satisfied. It was a hopeful beginning for the two guys. Casey was going to go home with Lon, and the readers could just use their imagination that they would start something great. But then my brain started to tick over.

Why was Casey in the shower rooms at that time of night, staring at himself in the mirror?
Why did Lon live in a caravan park, and not a house?
What was Casey afraid of?
Why was Lon all alone? A man like him would surely have a special someone.

I thought to myself – just one more chapter. Just write another 2,000-3,000 words to find out what is behind Lon and Casey, and then we can finish.

Some 65,000+ words later, Lon and Casey found their happy ending. So I had to think up a new name for the story instead of Encounters. Because, in the end, there weren’t just one or two encounters. There was a whole relationship. There were lots of friends and family. There were background stories, tragedies and things that happened in the past that should not have happened to any person. There was laughter and arguments. There was sex and Christmas dinners. There were tears and misunderstandings.

I dithered for weeks over a name. But I kept coming back to Safe in His Arms. Because that is what Casey was. Safe. Secure. Home. And by the end of the story, Lon had come to see that he had a home too. A home in Casey’s arms. Safe. Secure. Loved. Together.


How to contact Renae:

Twitter:  @renaekkaye

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Ask Andrew - Audiobook Narrators

Dear Andrew,

I was wondering how you choose the narrator for your audiobooks. I know there is a list of “golden voices” of narrators for many of the audiobooks out there. Do you use a list as a reference? How do you know if the narrator will convey the tone or inflection the way you envisioned when you were writing the book initially?

Dear Mary
When choosing the narrator for my audiobooks, I listen to the voice of the narrator very carefully.  At the start of the process they provide an audition sample and I listen to all of those.  Sometimes you get lucky and a narrator will sound just like one of the characters in my head, but that doesn't happen very often.  What I really look for is a mellow voice that sounds interesting and one I would like to listen to for 6 to 8 hours and one that fits the overall tone of the story.  I chose a younger sounding narrator for Organic Chemistry than I did for Inside Out.
The thing that I need to keep in mind during this process is that we are producing a narration, not a theatrical production of the story.  As for the tone of the narration, I try to listen for the major characters in the audition to make sure they sound good.  After that, it can be a little like a leap of faith.  (I need to add here that for those of you who don't know, I am the audiobook coordinator for Dreamspinner Press)
As for a list of Golden Voices, there isn't one necessarily. There are narrators that we have a history of working with and we often return to them because the quality of their work is known, but there are new narrators working all the time with great, energetic voices that are wonderful to hear.  What I'd like to know is what you as a reader listen for in a narrator.  Comment here or on the Facebook post. 
Hugs and Love
Ask Andrew is your chance to ask questions of a gay romance author.  The questions can be about the writing process in general, writing sex scenes, gay men, sex, characters in romance, characters having sex... okay you probably get the picture.    I promise to answer your questions as frankly and with as much humor as I possibly can.

So if you have a question, please send it to  This is different from my usual email so your questions don't get lost.  I will answer one question a week.

Please remember this is meant to be all in fun.  (I was going to say good, clean fun, but who wants that.)    So send me your questions and let's see what mischief we can get into.

Visit Andrew on Facebook:  and you can join Andrew's fan group All The Way With Andrew Grey.

Follow him on Twitter:  @andrewgreybooks

Visit Andrew's web site:  www,

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Moving Sucks, Movies & TV, and Blind Vamps

<BA> Boo.
<BA> Also, moving sucks.
<BA> But! We are about, what? 75% in the new house, babe?
<BA> We're sleeping here. We have the puppers here.
<BA> TV comes tomorrow
<Sean> that's cool
<BA> nods
<BA> I hope so. *grins*
<BA> I'm so tired.
<julia> I am going nuts
<julia> the dogs are cray cray
<Sean> they don't get it, eh?
<BA> nope
<BA> everything's in chaos
<BA> new yard
<BA> and the layout couldn't be more different
<BA> well, it's still a one story, but that's about it
<Sean> *grins*
<Sean> now I'm trying to imagine the bassets going up and down stairs
<BA> yeah, that's not happening
<BA> these are the dogs that wouldn't walk past the Swiffer
<Sean> lolol
<Sean> well you never know with those Swiffers
<BA> it doesn't help that it turned cold like two days ago
<BA> and suddenly they're super energy dogs
<Sean> nods
 * BA leans
<BA> how was Thanksgiving, honey?
<Sean> I'm pretty fried myself tonight
<Sean> it was good
<BA> share the menu
<Sean> there was turkey
<Sean> squash casserole
<BA> mmm
<julia> oh
<BA> Julia makes that for me
<Sean> a sweet potato/regular potato scalloped potatoes
<julia> squash casserole
<Sean> nods
<julia> uhn
<Sean> it was oh gratin
<Sean> it was really good
<Sean> honey rosemary glazed carrots
<Sean> steamed broccoli
<julia> is canadian squash casserole the same as southern american
<Sean> hell if I know
<Sean> *grins*
<Sean> it was uh, squash with cheese and breadcrumbs on top
<Sean> and I don't know if there was vinegar in with the squash, but there was something with that sour note that I really liked
<julia> lol
<julia> oh
<julia> no
<julia> that's not  the same at all
<BA> heeeeee
<julia> I mean, I would try it
<julia> but no
* BA giggles
<Sean> we had pumpkin pie and something called fruit cocktail poudding
<Sean> for dessert
 * BA gags
<BA> Oh, god
<BA> warn a girl
<Sean> LOL
<BA> Yeah. No.
<BA> NO.
<julia> poudding?
<BA> Bad. Bad bad bad.
 * BA cackles
<julia> that sounds grossly sexual
<Sean> yeah, there were guests from australia
<julia> now, if you mean pudding
<Sean> and they baked this thing
<julia> that's never good
<julia> this thing
<Sean> with a big can of fruit cocktail and flour and stuff and it got put in the oven
<julia> makes ack eyes O.o
<Sean> and turned out like a custardy cake with the pieces of fruit
<julia> no
<julia> I can handle pineapple upside down
<Sean> you know how the brits call stuff poudding that's not really poudding?
<julia> apple spice cake
<BA> did anyone else have a Steel Magnolias moment?
<julia> but whoa
<Sean> and yeah, I know I'm spelling that wrong every damn time
<BA> nods
<julia> what with the Saint Bernard?
<BA> no, dingleberry -- Dolly and the cuppa cuppa cuppa
<julia> oh
<julia> well, you didn't say which moment
<julia> I thought you might hit Ouisa
<BA> "That's our son, we're SO PROUD."
<BA> Man, I can quote that movie line by line.
<Sean> *grins*
<BA> Steel Magnolias, Moulin Rouge and Jurassic Park
<BA> Julia can do The Mummy, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead and Clue
<BA> Sean can do... The Phantom Menace
<Sean> possibly
<BA> Oh, you could.
<BA> I may have even witnessed it.
<Sean> Heee
<Sean> "I'll handle this."
<BA> *cackles*
<Sean> and that stride in that robe and those boots
<Sean> guh...
<BA> little slut
<Sean> me or Obi?
<Sean> ;)
<BA> You. Duh.
<julia> Oh no
<julia> Sean needs to go TV and do Hortatio Caine
<Sean> LOL
<BA> nobody does Horatio like you, honey
<Sean> *pulls off the glasses and looks soulfully into the distance*
<BA> bwah!
<Sean> that show was pure crack
 * BA resists the urge to go, "you said crack".
<Sean> you knew it was insane but you just had to keep watching to see just how insane it would get
<julia> oh god yes
<BA> That's the one of the CSIs I didn't watch
<julia> now. NCIS New Orleans I like
<BA> Are you watching NCIS NOLA?
 * BA grins at the wife.
<BA> Obviously we're enjoying it.
<Sean> nodnods
<Sean> yep
<Sean> the LA boys are still my favorite
<BA> Julia is a Gibbs girl
<julia> I am
<julia> and Tony
<BA> we stopped watching the LA ones the end of the 2nd season
<julia> nods
<julia> when Sam cheats on his wife as
<julia> "part of the job"
<julia> we're romance writers damn it
<Sean> nods
<julia> not cheating
<Sean> that pissed me off
<Sean> as did the fact that out of a blue, he has a wife
<BA> at some point, aren't we supposed to scream SPOILERS?
<Sean> do you still have to do that if it's from a couple years ago?
<BA> How the fuck should I know?
<BA> Love them
<BA> search them out
<Sean> not me
<BA> read the last page of the book first
<BA> it's way less stressful
<BA> I'm way more interested in the whole why than the plot
<Sean> I like not knowing
<BA> which surprises no one
<BA> odd fact? I hate watching a movie for the first time.
<BA> Absolutely hate it.
<julia> I like to know
<julia> I watch things on twice in a row, like Project Runway
<julia> at the second time slot so I can see who went home
<BA> nods
<BA> yep
<BA> so, if it sucked, you haven't wasted an hour
<Sean> heeee
<BA> It's just less stress
<julia> exactly! And you're not weirdly embarrased
<julia> I hate watching a movie the first time
<julia> what if it's really poorly written and no one told me?
<Sean> heeee
<Sean> then you turn it off
<Sean> I tried to watch that A Million Ways to Die in the West or whatever it's called
<Sean> Stu
<Sean> Pid
<BA> It had Liam Neeson in it
<Sean> it did
<Sean> still Stu. Pid.
<Sean> I turned it off
<BA> we watched a movie last month, J
<BA> what was it?
<julia> uh
<julia> it had ewan macgregor and pierce brosnan
<julia> ghost writer?
<Sean> Ghost Writer?
<julia> yeah
<Sean> heee,  that must have been it
<BA> we were so proud
<Sean> I haven't seen that one
<BA> we watched a whole movie
<julia> it's okay
<julia> I mean, we stuck with it
<julia> grins
<Sean> there needs to be a new awesome Ewan movie
<Sean> it's been too long
<julia> yes! where he gets naked
<Sean> yes
<BA> waggle waggle waggle
<julia> hey, he so enjoys being naked
<julia> so why shouldn't we?
<BA> that's my naked Ewan impression
<BA> ;-)
<Sean> lol
<julia> you're hilarious
<julia> stares
<BA> O.O
<BA> @.@
<BA> o.o
<Sean> crazy eyes
<BA> (0)_(0)
<Sean> lol
 * BA siiiiiiiings
<julia> lolol
<julia> I think the song is Hungry Eyes
<BA> "Have I told you lately that I love yooooooooooooooooooooou?"
<julia> Every day :D
<Sean> are the dogs howling along?
<BA> they are SNOOZING
<BA> they had a huge howl
<BA> and now they're convinced we're not going to leave again tonight
<BA> is it possible to watch the Voice on the computer?
<Sean> I have no idea
<Sean> but probably
<Sean> you can watch pretty much everything on the computer now
<BA> aren't you supposed to be the technological one?
<BA> we have roles damn it
<BA> I obviously don't know what the fuck they are
<BA> but there are roles
<Sean> LOL
<julia> I am only good in support
<julia> not tech support
<julia> just cheering
<BA> Okay, love. I have another hour of work, we have to move all the things from the garage, we have a chat in 90 minutes and we have to set up all the TVs
<BA> O.o
<Sean> good grief
<BA> and I have to do it without melting down
<BA> I know, right
<BA> ?
<julia> cries
<Sean> moving sucks
<BA> indeed.
<julia> hugs all around
<BA> Oh, I have a book coming out.
<BA> Wednesday.
<Sean> oh tell
<BA> Old West Blind Vampire BDSM
<BA> tell me I don't know cross genre
<julia> Woo!
<Sean> LOLOL
<Sean> what's it called?
<julia> Oh!
<BA> the only thing that could make it better would be motorcycles and a random billionaire...
<julia> I have a story in Hot Off the Press at Dreamspinner Nov 10
<julia> the billionaire's blind vamp
<BA> *looks at Julia*
<julia> sorry
<BA> is called...
<Sean> promo blocked!
<BA> what's the name of it, J?
<Sean> the new cock block ;)
<julia> Those Who Cannot See
<julia> or something
<BA> (she does all my titles)
<julia> I only edited the anthology
<BA> and I dare Sean
<BA> to write me The Billionaire's Blind Vamp
<BA> I want hotness
<BA> and kink
<BA> and hurt comfort
<Sean> does it have to have a billionaire and a blind vamp?
<Sean> or can it be a deaf werewolf and a pauper?
<BA> *glares*
<BA> Pay attention
<Sean> *goes for innocent*
<BA> 08:33 BA and I dare Sean
<BA> 08:33 BA to write me The Billionaire's Blind Vamp
<BA> 08:34 BA I want hotness
<BA> 08:34 BA and kink
<BA> 08:34 BA and hurt comfort
<BA> there.
<Sean> LOLOL
<BA> What I want.
<Sean> okay, I have my marching orders
<BA> Go forth and write things that make me happy.
<BA> Thank you.
<BA> *kisses*
<Sean> anytime
<BA> Night, lovely. Sleep well and I'll talk at you tomorrow. :D
<Sean> nods
<BA> *waves*
<Sean> night all

If you have a topic you’d like us to chat about, please let us know. We’re totally up for that. You can find us on Twitter at @seanmichael09, @juliatalbot and @batortuga.

Sean’s website is 
Julia’s is
BA’s is
Facebook accounts:
Sean --
Julia --
BA --

Thanks for reading!

Monday, October 20, 2014

CC's Perspective Blog Post on Queer Romance Month

Thanks so much to the QRM team for inviting me to participate in this project. I’ll confess that when I got the email from KJ Charles, I was more than a little intimidated to write alongside one of the most gifted wordsmiths in our genre. Plus, I’m a horrible blogger. But then I saw the topics the team suggested for those of us who need a lot of blogging help, and one jumped out at me: Why you wrote a particular book.

I like to write happy, sweet, uplifting stories because I want to give people hope in a world that can sometimes be harsh and cruel. Sometimes the hopeful stories have an obtainable realism. And other times, there’s the magic of fiction. In Another Life was inspired by my fantasy of turning a pain-filled time so many people experience into a happy ending.

Read the rest of this essay on Queer Romance Month


Saturday, October 18, 2014


For 49 weeks of the year, I am insanely glad I live in Perth.  This is home.  This is where my family is.  This pace of life I understand.

But for three weeks of the year I hate that I live so far away from EVERY GREAT THING THAT HAPPENS ON THIS PLANET.

This week is one of them.  GRL is happening over in the US and I wanna be there. 

What is GRL? you ask?  Where the hell have you been?  GRL is the annual Gay-Rom-Lit convention – a huge amount of m/m authors from all over the world attending one conference.  They have a week of workshops, followed by a weekend of interaction with the readers.  It sounds fantastic, and I’m #GRLjealousy!

So why didn’t you go? you ask? Did you know that the Sydney-Dallas/Fort Worth flight is the longest non-stop flight in the world?  Did you know that Perth to Sydney is another 4 hours on top of that?  Did you know that the flights alone to get me to the US would be just under $3000?  Did you know that I don’t have a spare $3000 just hanging around my bank account waiting to be spent?

It is unfortunate then, that I have to sit at home and content myself with looking at the pictures and reading about everyone having a great time.

So, in order to cheer myself up, I’m going to list:
ten great things about NOT going to GRL this year.

#1 – I don’t miss out on a week of writing
By missing out on all the workshops and the meeting of people, it means I get to stay at home and write some more.  And I’m a writer.  So it is good to write.  Right?

#2 – I don’t get bruises from all the hugging and greeting going on
I mean, from the pictures, there seems to be a lot of hugging.  And excited hugging at that.  So I’m sure all the authors attending are rather bruised.  Meanwhile I’m at home, completely unharmed.

#3 – I’m not going deaf from all the squealing happening
I understand there is a lot of excitement occurring.  And I’m sure there is squealing happening – and a lot of it at close range to ears.  I like my hearing.  So I’m glad I’m not there where I could possibly be going deaf.

#4 – I don’t have a sore throat from the huge amount of talking I would be doing
One little secret about me?  It’s hard to shut me up when you get me started.  (It’s the cross of life I bear).  There are plenty of questions flying around at GRL, chats, questions and answer sessions, workshops, etc.  I would have a sore throat from all that talking.  I’m glad I’m not there, or I would have a sore throat.

#5 – I don’t have a sore hand from signing autographs
I mean, no author likes signing autographs, right? 

#6 – I will have a lot more fun at home
Fun happens at my house every single day that doesn’t compare to GRL at all.  Hey – I had such a blast at home today!  I collected eggs from my hens, did the dishes, cleaned the toilets and (the highlight) my car had trouble starting this morning.  I nearly had to walk the kids to school.  It’s clear my life is a barrel of laughs!

#7 – I won’t get fat from all the great food they are consuming
I’m on a diet (she says as she crunches through a handful of chips).

#8 – I won’t embarrass myself singing karaoke or sucking badly at roulette
Nothing is worse than looking bad in front of friends (and having pictures to prove it).

#9 – I don’t need to meet all those wonderful people
I can talk to them over FB, right?

#10 – I don’t need to travel to another country and see the sights
I can look at pictures.  I don’t need to see it for myself.  (sob) Right?

Are there any reasons you are glad you aren’t there?

How to contact Renae:

Twitter:  @renaekkaye

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Ask Andrew - Bears, Bears, Bears

Dear Andrew

In one of your blogs you talked about watching a bear groom it's cub , but went on to say in was too private to share. My curiosity was peaked! What was he doing? I tried to use the Internet to answer the question but when you search "bear grooming cub" you see a lot of "bears" not the kind I was looking for.


Dear Katie

For those of you who don't know, I went to a Bear, Biker, and Mayhem weekend in March to sell books.  It was a great weekend and the guys were really wonderful.  One of the vendors in the room was a boot black.  He was cleaning and polishing people's boots for charity.  He was a very nice man, kind and soft spoken.  At one point during the weekend one of the Alpha men sat in his chair and had his boots polished.  When it was completed, the boot black was paid.  Then the alpha caught the boot black's gaze.  I could feel the intensity across the room.  The boot black stood and moved closer, into the other man's arms.  The larger man cradled the boot black's head and then he processed to 'groom' him, stroking his short hair, chin, and neck. 

The men weren't lovers and what was happening wasn't overtly sexual, though it had definite tones that things could go there if both of them wanted.  What I witnessed was an act that was very intimate.  I had to look away because I felt like a voyeur and they all had their clothes on.  After a few minutes the boot black moved away and the man got out of the chair and went back to his business.  I do need to say that the boot black's lover was there and didn't seem to react other than being pleased.  As I said at the time, it was one of the most intimate acts I've ever witnessed and they all had their clothes on. 

As for searching the internet, that's a tough one.  Gay Bears came up with mostly porn hits as did a number of other searches.  I really hope I answered your question and for the record I am planning to attend next year's event.  Maybe I'll see something as interesting. 

Hugs and Love

Ask Andrew is your chance to ask questions of a gay romance author.  The questions can be about the writing process in general, writing sex scenes, gay men, sex, characters in romance, characters having sex... okay you probably get the picture.    I promise to answer your questions as frankly and with as much humor as I possibly can.

So if you have a question, please send it to  This is different from my usual email so your questions don't get lost.  I will answer one question a week.

Please remember this is meant to be all in fun.  (I was going to say good, clean fun, but who wants that.)    So send me your questions and let's see what mischief we can get into.

Visit Andrew on Facebook:  and you can join Andrew's fan group All The Way With Andrew Grey.

Follow him on Twitter:  @andrewgreybooks

Visit Andrew's web site:  www,

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

A Thanksgiving Song for Sean Michael

So, Sean’s having visitation with relatives (without internet, OMG) and Julia and I are exhausted and paint-fume stupid and Julia would like all y’all to know we have claw hands (not in that fun, spanky American Horror Story: Freakshow sort of way).

However! There is a cake in the oven, Sean’s coming home tomorrow, and we made enough at the garage sale to buy a fire table for the back yard, so all-in-all, it’s looking up.

In celebration of Canadian Thanksgiving, Julia and I thought we would write Sean a song expressing our love and adoration and vague confusion about the entire concept of Thanksgiving before Halloween and with no college football...

Our apologies to Kris Norris, yet another Canadian we adore beyond all reason.

(sung to the tune of Mary Had a Little Lamb)

Canadians have a Thanksgiving too

With pumpkin pie

And no internet.

Canadians have a Thanksgiving too.

Is Sean on the way home yet?

Canadians have a Thanksgiving too

Close to Halloween

(The wrong time of year).

November is when our turkey day comes.

That’s why Sean shows up here.


*bows* Thank you. Thank you very much

If y’all have a topic you’d like us to chat on, please let us know. We’re totally up for that. You can find us on Twitter at @seanmichael09, @juliatalbot and @batortuga.

Sean’s website is 


Facebook accounts:



Much love, y’all!


Monday, October 13, 2014

New Release: The Half of Us by Cardeno C.

The Half of Us, the newest novel in my contemporary Family collection was released on Friday. Here are the details:


Short-tempered, arrogant heart surgeon Jason Garcia grew up wanting a close-knit family, but believes he ruined those dreams when he broke up his marriage. The benefit of divorce is having as much random sex as he wants, and it's a benefit Jason is exploiting when he meets a sweet, shy man at a bar and convinces him to go home for a no-strings-attached night of fun.

Eight years living in Las Vegas hasn't dimmed Abe Green's optimism, earnestness, or desire to find the one. When a sexy man with lonely eyes propositions him, Abe decides to give himself a birthday present — one night of spontaneous fun with no thoughts of the future. But one night turns into two and then three, and Abe realizes his heart is involved.

For the first time, Abe feels safe enough with someone he respects and adores to let go of his inhibitions in the bedroom. If Jason can get past his own inhibitions and open his heart and his life to Abe, he might finally find the family he craves.


Buy Links:

Have a great week.


Wednesday, October 8, 2014

Ask Andrew - Spankng

Dear Andrew

This might be a weird ? But I always wondered so here it goes. Now am not saying everyone does this but some do. Why when men are making love does the person smack the guys ass he is making love too?

Thank you

Dear Theresa

Your question really made me smile because in all my life I have never had anyone smack my ass during sex and it isn't something I particularly look forward to.  However, there are many people in this world with very varied sexual tastes.  I honestly cannot say how many people like a good butt slap during sex and the answer I am going to try to provide does not come from personal experience, so its harder for me to answer, but I will try.  I do have an idea that a lot of the world's butt slapping happens in films, but I could be wrong. 

As with most sexual practices, the butt slap or ass reddening, whatever you want to call it, comes from an attempt to heighten the stimulation and therefore the high achieved during sex.  I must stress that we are talking about open handed slaps here, not beating or hurting your partner.  These slaps generally aren't hard, but over time, the skin reddens and the nerves become more sensitive.  This sensitivity and the relatively mild pain that accompanies it, adds to the sexual endorphin rush. 

As for how pervasive the butt slap during sex is, I'm going to ask readers to comment and let me know.  This is something I'm curious about and would love to hear from you.  Leave a comment here or on Facebook. 

Hugs and Love

Ask Andrew is your chance to ask questions of a gay romance author.  The questions can be about the writing process in general, writing sex scenes, gay men, sex, characters in romance, characters having sex... okay you probably get the picture.    I promise to answer your questions as frankly and with as much humor as I possibly can.

So if you have a question, please send it to  This is different from my usual email so your questions don't get lost.  I will answer one question a week.

Please remember this is meant to be all in fun.  (I was going to say good, clean fun, but who wants that.)    So send me your questions and let's see what mischief we can get into.

Visit Andrew on Facebook:  and you can join Andrew's fan group All The Way With Andrew Grey.

Follow him on Twitter:  @andrewgreybooks

Visit Andrew's web site:  www,

Tuesday, October 7, 2014

Exhaustion, Happloween, and Vegetable Porn

[21:00:29] <@BA> *waves*

[21:00:31] <@BA> So.

[21:00:33] <@BA> fucking.

[21:00:34] <julia> Hey

[21:00:35] <@BA> tired.

[21:00:43] <julia> <--- yes

[21:00:48] <Sean> Have you guys painted all the things?

[21:00:55] <julia> no

[21:00:56] <@BA> no

[21:00:59] <@BA> :(

[21:00:59] <julia> whimpers

[21:01:05] <@BA> come to help

[21:01:18] <@BA> we need to do lots

[21:01:32] <@BA> it's just not going as quick as we wanted. :(

[21:01:36] <julia> nods

[21:01:37] <Sean> nods

[21:01:38] <@BA> I mean, it's PRETTY

[21:01:41] <julia> very tired

[21:01:43] <Sean> it never does, does it?

[21:01:49] <@BA> I can't wait to show off the sun room

[21:01:53] <@BA> with SILVER PAINT

[21:02:27] <@BA> and, if I can swing it in the budget

[21:02:35] <@BA> we're getting a fire table for the back yard!

[21:02:41] <Sean> oh fun!

[21:02:45] <@BA> nods

[21:02:59] <@BA> it'll have a place for your drink

[21:03:05] <julia> we had to get something tallish

[21:03:05] <julia> for the bassets

[21:03:21] <@BA> I just want a neat place outside

[21:03:28] <@BA> to look at the mountains

[21:03:29] <Sean> nods

[21:04:10] <@BA> so, we made candy apple margaritas tonight

[21:04:17] <@BA> to go with steak and salad

[21:04:19] <Sean> any good?

[21:04:24] <@BA> not bad at all

[21:04:32] <@BA> next time, less lime more cinnamon

[21:04:39] <julia> yes

[21:04:45] <julia> it was a llittle too apple

[21:05:16] <@BA> Oh! I have an apple tree in the new backyard! I brought it back to eat.

[21:05:40] <Sean> that's very cool

[21:05:51] <julia> one apple

[21:05:56] <julia> not the tree

[21:06:00] <Sean> LOL

[21:06:05] <@BA> oh, shut up

[21:06:13] <julia> Cackles

[21:06:15] <@BA> did I mention the tired?

[21:06:29] <@BA> I feel like I've been beat on

[21:06:33] <Sean> awww

[21:06:42] <Sean> you need a masszge

[21:06:44] <julia> yeah

[21:06:47] <Sean> with less z

[21:06:59] <julia> too bad I'm too tired to give one

[21:08:25] <@BA> LOL

[21:08:28] <@BA> no shit

[21:08:37] <@BA> hell, I just need a fucking cup of coffee

[21:08:57] <@BA> *opens mouth and sends psychic vibes to the coffee maker*

[21:09:03] <@BA> I'll holler if it works

[21:09:11] <Sean> LOL

[21:11:20] BA leans and counts colors of paint speckles that have survived post shower

[21:11:22] <@BA> purple

[21:11:24] <@BA> cream

[21:11:28] <@BA> brown

[21:11:29] <@BA> silver

[21:11:45] <julia> LOL

[21:11:45] <Sean> polka dotted ba!

[21:11:54] <@BA>there's still blue, pink, red and turquoise to go

[21:11:52] <julia> sorry

[21:12:01] <julia> I think I blcked out for a minute

[21:12:03] <@BA> she fell asleep

[21:12:10] <@BA> it was adorable

[21:12:24] <Sean> cackles

[21:12:26] <@BA> and, honestly, more than a little impressive

[21:12:38] <@BA> given that the dogs have lots their damn minds

[21:12:46] <@BA> talk about stressed O.o

[21:12:49] <julia> they are loud

[21:12:58] <@BA> lots?

[21:12:58] <Sean> poor beasties

[21:13:01] <@BA> lost

[21:13:33] <@BA> spelling is my friend (which I typed at sleeping at first... Freudian slip?)

[21:14:01] <Sean> yep

[21:14:04] <Sean> very slippy

[21:14:41] <julia> are y'alll speaking english?

[21:15:11] <Sean> nope

[21:15:18] <@BA> not even a little

[21:15:21] <@BA> ;-)

[21:16:04] <@BA> Okay, so, Halloween Wars is back on Food Network. I'm stupidly excited.

[21:16:13] <Sean> oh fun

[21:16:25] <Sean> Halloween is Rock's favorite holiday

[21:16:30] <@BA> heeeeee

[21:16:50] <@BA> I know that Coke and Nattie dress the bulls up...

[21:18:10] <BA> O.o

[21:18:12] <Sean> he likes the little candy and he thinks Rig and Dick don't know he eats a ton of it

[21:18:27] <BA> Oh, I miss Halloween candy

[21:20:07] <BA> Actually, I miss Rock, too. ;-)

[21:20:18] <Sean> heeeee

[21:20:33] <BA> and there goes Julia

[21:20:35] <BA> O.o

[21:21:01] <Julia> I think the chat is telling us to be asleep

[21:21:03] <Julia> zzzzzzzz

[21:21:07] <Sean> lol

[21:21:08] <Sean> yeah

[21:21:35] <Sean> even those of us not moving house and painting are tired

[21:21:51] <BA> I wonder if your Jim ever dresses up like Carrot Top

[21:22:01] <Julia> Please God, no

[21:22:05] Sean looks at you

[21:22:09] <Sean> never

[21:22:15] <BA> @.@

[21:22:23] <BA> <--- that's my innocent look

[21:22:31] <Sean> uh-huh

[21:22:36] <Julia> no way

[21:22:39] <Sean> it's almost as believable as mine

[21:22:44] <BA> almost

[21:22:55] <Julia> the Bloodrose boys love Halloween

[21:23:05] <Julia> Jonny does a bang up party at the club


[21:23:57] <Sean> it's a requirement for vamps to like happloween, isn't it?

[21:24:03] <Sean> Halloween

[21:24:09] <Julia> not according to Buffy o.O

[21:24:14] <BA> happloween

[21:24:18] <BA> HAPPLOWEEN

[21:24:44] <BA> I declare that Oct. 31 will now be known as Happloween, dammit.

[21:24:59] <Julia> I like it!

[21:25:04] <Julia> What do we do with it

[21:25:27] <BA> there should be wine

[21:25:31] <BA> and chocolate

[21:25:43] <Julia> or do we just never have to say happy halloween again

[21:25:48] <Sean> and beer and chips

[21:25:59] <BA> and,  uh, carved pickles

[21:26:26] <Sean> only if we get to carve them into penises

[21:26:27] <Julia> instead of jack o piunkins?

[21:26:35] <Julia> punkins

[21:26:38] <BA> jack o' pickles

[21:26:44] <Julia> an, we're GOOD spellers

[21:26:54] <BA> indeed

[21:27:25] <BA> Poultrygeists

[21:27:32] <Sean> lol

[21:28:04] <BA> Chickens are scary

[21:28:06] <Sean> cluckityboooo

[21:28:28] BA cackles

[21:28:31] <Julia> dude

[21:28:41] <Julia> they were just fisting a pumpkin on halloween wars

[21:28:44] <Julia> happoween

[21:29:25] <Sean> even pumpkins need lots of lube when fisting

[21:29:27] <BA> Oh, Jesus. You said fisting. Sean's going to be all... you can fist a pumpkin?

[21:30:50] <Sean> I'm betting you can ;)

[21:31:00] <BA> I'm betting you've written it

[21:31:44] <Sean> can't say I have ever writing vegetable on vegetable sex

[21:31:48] <Sean> written

[21:32:01] <BA> Vegetable on vegetable sex

[21:32:10] <BA> the carrot porks the eggplant?

[21:32:56] <Sean> how about a parsnip/potato/tomato threesome?

[21:32:59] <BA> do you think the butternet squash ever gets laid?

[21:33:10] <BA> the tomato would never survive

[21:33:25] <Sean> maybe he's a voyeur

[21:33:29] <BA> maybe parsnip/potato/celery

[21:33:42] <BA> the tomato could rub up with the avocado

[21:33:50] <BA> nothing hard core

[21:33:54] <BA> ;-)

[21:34:34] <Julia> O.O

[21:34:37] <Julia> man, I doze off

[21:34:41] <BA> and then there's the onions

[21:34:46] <Julia> and y'all lose your minds

[21:34:51] <BA> if the garlic and onion get it on, is that incest?

[21:34:55] <Julia> better then moose porn, I guess

[21:35:07] <Sean> the onions are meanies -- they always make everyone cry

[21:35:07] <Julia> <than>

[21:35:12] <BA> and then, what about olives

[21:35:23] <Sean> they're already stuffed

[21:35:27] <BA> HA!

[21:35:31] <Julia> snort

[21:35:38] BA giggles madly

[21:35:44] <BA> very nice

[21:35:48] <Sean> vegetable porn

[21:35:51] <Julia> boom

[21:35:53] <Sean> bachickawowow

[21:36:27] <Julia> old MacDonald had a farm, e-i-e-i-oooooh

[21:36:38] <BA> no. just no.

[21:36:43] <Sean> lol

[21:36:46] <Julia> were horses

[21:36:51] <BA> I can tell that y'all are looking for trouble

[21:36:54] <BA> NO HORSES

[21:36:56] <BA> NONE.

[21:36:57] <BA> NO

[21:36:59] <Julia> heeeee

[21:37:05] <Julia> I knew that would happen

[21:37:08] <BA> I will beat you both with a wet noodle

[21:37:08] <Sean> lol

[21:37:15] <Sean> oooo beatings

[21:37:16] <Julia> dude

[21:37:33] <Julia> threaten Sean with something scary

[21:37:37] <BA> until you have had your arm in a horse up to the elbow, you can't judge

[21:38:04] <Julia> I have, but never a male one

[21:38:08] <Julia> so m/m is safe

[21:38:13] <BA> I'll just dangle flaccid penises to terrify

[21:38:23] <BA> I know where you sleep, J.

[21:38:47] <Sean> lolol

[21:39:27] <Julia> pphhppptttt

[21:39:36] <Julia> tonight I am asleep at my computer

[21:39:43] <BA> nods

[21:39:58] <BA> I think we might have to just stay here tomorrow

[21:40:15] <BA> take a day to work and not paint something

[21:40:33] <BA> go to the coffeeshop and drink all the things

[21:42:36] <BA> oh, happy Thanksgiving, ye olde Canadian!

[21:42:44] <Sean> not til next week

[21:42:58] <Sean> but thank you

[21:43:01] <BA> I know, but it's next Monday, right?

[21:43:05] <Sean> nods

[21:43:12] <BA> so the next chat is Tuesday

[21:43:20] <BA> which would be late

[21:43:28] <BA> so I'm early

[21:43:32] <BA> PRAISE ME

[21:43:34] <BA> ;-)

[21:43:40] <Sean> right

[21:43:40] <Sean> nods

[21:43:40] <Sean> you're right

[21:43:55] <Julia> good dog

[21:43:59] <BA> thank you

[21:44:03] <Sean> go you :)

[21:44:07] <Julia> Happoween

[21:44:17] <BA> every so often my ego is delicate *snorts*

[21:44:23] <BA> Fragile

[21:44:32] <BA> I'm a sensitive flower

[21:44:32] <Julia> a wilted flower

[21:45:37] <BA> I need a minion

[21:45:50] <BA> maybe we could all go in together and get one

[21:45:56] <Julia> sure

[21:46:33] <Sean> minions for all!

[21:46:35] <BA> I mean a real one, not a yellow cute one

[21:46:43] <BA> like someone that will do our bidding

[21:47:13] <BA> I could bid a lot

[21:47:19] <BA> like right now

[21:47:25] <BA> I still need coffee.

[21:48:11] <Julia> we should get you some

[21:48:15] <Julia> and let me doze

[21:48:21] <Julia> <.<

[21:48:27] <Sean> I could doze myself

[21:48:29] <Sean> we should say goodnight

[21:48:33] <Julia> >.>

[21:48:38] <BA> nodnods

[21:48:48] <Julia> we'll do better next week

[21:48:52] <Julia> ;)

[21:49:14] <BA> love y'all. *kisses*

[21:49:16] <Sean> goodnight

[21:49:21] <BA> night sweetpea

[21:49:30] <Julia> night!


If y’all have a topic you’d like us to chat on, please let us know. We’re totally up for that. You can find us on Twitter at @seanmichael09, @juliatalbot and @batortuga. 



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Much love, y’all!