Wednesday, October 8, 2014

Ask Andrew - Spankng

Dear Andrew

This might be a weird ? But I always wondered so here it goes. Now am not saying everyone does this but some do. Why when men are making love does the person smack the guys ass he is making love too?

Thank you

Dear Theresa

Your question really made me smile because in all my life I have never had anyone smack my ass during sex and it isn't something I particularly look forward to.  However, there are many people in this world with very varied sexual tastes.  I honestly cannot say how many people like a good butt slap during sex and the answer I am going to try to provide does not come from personal experience, so its harder for me to answer, but I will try.  I do have an idea that a lot of the world's butt slapping happens in films, but I could be wrong. 

As with most sexual practices, the butt slap or ass reddening, whatever you want to call it, comes from an attempt to heighten the stimulation and therefore the high achieved during sex.  I must stress that we are talking about open handed slaps here, not beating or hurting your partner.  These slaps generally aren't hard, but over time, the skin reddens and the nerves become more sensitive.  This sensitivity and the relatively mild pain that accompanies it, adds to the sexual endorphin rush. 

As for how pervasive the butt slap during sex is, I'm going to ask readers to comment and let me know.  This is something I'm curious about and would love to hear from you.  Leave a comment here or on Facebook. 

Hugs and Love

Ask Andrew is your chance to ask questions of a gay romance author.  The questions can be about the writing process in general, writing sex scenes, gay men, sex, characters in romance, characters having sex... okay you probably get the picture.    I promise to answer your questions as frankly and with as much humor as I possibly can.

So if you have a question, please send it to  This is different from my usual email so your questions don't get lost.  I will answer one question a week.

Please remember this is meant to be all in fun.  (I was going to say good, clean fun, but who wants that.)    So send me your questions and let's see what mischief we can get into.

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  1. My husband used to slap my butt if he thought my head wasn't in the game, which it sometimes wasn't. Just one pop to remind me what we were doing. It worked. :-)

  2. Loved your answer. Lol. I must say I don't quiet understand the butt slap either but my hubby loves to do it to me sometimes. Then after the slap he grabs my butt checks and squeezes. Oh well as long as he doesn't try to beat me its all good.

  3. Tried it one time - didn't like it... Didn't do it again.

  4. The butt slap is not just for men...I'm just saying

  5. We're not butt slappers either, unless it's a single mock slap to interject some 80s porn humor into our sex. And then it's followed by the obligatory deadpan, "oh yeah, baby!"

  6. I really appreciate your comments. Stacy - From the comments I've received, that's very true.

    Thank you all

  7. I love receiving butt slaps during sex. It really heightens both the build up and the orgasms for me. And I have never met a man who didn't get off on doing it :)

  8. If it happens right before orgasm it can heighten the experience and make it last longer, if done right :)

  9. An act of violence has no place within an act of love! Period!

  10. I practice BDSM (always hated the phrase " live the lifestyle" for some reason). As a switch, someone who is equally satisfied dominating and submitting, a butt slap is highly appreciated for a number of reasons: as a show of dominance, for the endorphin rush, to heighten the intensity of orgasm, as "funishment" or punishment, part of the enjoyment of submission, even to enhance the use of certain adult toys. It has its place for many people and can be anything from fun and playful to intense impact play. It all depends on the partners' enjoyment.