Saturday, October 18, 2014


For 49 weeks of the year, I am insanely glad I live in Perth.  This is home.  This is where my family is.  This pace of life I understand.

But for three weeks of the year I hate that I live so far away from EVERY GREAT THING THAT HAPPENS ON THIS PLANET.

This week is one of them.  GRL is happening over in the US and I wanna be there. 

What is GRL? you ask?  Where the hell have you been?  GRL is the annual Gay-Rom-Lit convention – a huge amount of m/m authors from all over the world attending one conference.  They have a week of workshops, followed by a weekend of interaction with the readers.  It sounds fantastic, and I’m #GRLjealousy!

So why didn’t you go? you ask? Did you know that the Sydney-Dallas/Fort Worth flight is the longest non-stop flight in the world?  Did you know that Perth to Sydney is another 4 hours on top of that?  Did you know that the flights alone to get me to the US would be just under $3000?  Did you know that I don’t have a spare $3000 just hanging around my bank account waiting to be spent?

It is unfortunate then, that I have to sit at home and content myself with looking at the pictures and reading about everyone having a great time.

So, in order to cheer myself up, I’m going to list:
ten great things about NOT going to GRL this year.

#1 – I don’t miss out on a week of writing
By missing out on all the workshops and the meeting of people, it means I get to stay at home and write some more.  And I’m a writer.  So it is good to write.  Right?

#2 – I don’t get bruises from all the hugging and greeting going on
I mean, from the pictures, there seems to be a lot of hugging.  And excited hugging at that.  So I’m sure all the authors attending are rather bruised.  Meanwhile I’m at home, completely unharmed.

#3 – I’m not going deaf from all the squealing happening
I understand there is a lot of excitement occurring.  And I’m sure there is squealing happening – and a lot of it at close range to ears.  I like my hearing.  So I’m glad I’m not there where I could possibly be going deaf.

#4 – I don’t have a sore throat from the huge amount of talking I would be doing
One little secret about me?  It’s hard to shut me up when you get me started.  (It’s the cross of life I bear).  There are plenty of questions flying around at GRL, chats, questions and answer sessions, workshops, etc.  I would have a sore throat from all that talking.  I’m glad I’m not there, or I would have a sore throat.

#5 – I don’t have a sore hand from signing autographs
I mean, no author likes signing autographs, right? 

#6 – I will have a lot more fun at home
Fun happens at my house every single day that doesn’t compare to GRL at all.  Hey – I had such a blast at home today!  I collected eggs from my hens, did the dishes, cleaned the toilets and (the highlight) my car had trouble starting this morning.  I nearly had to walk the kids to school.  It’s clear my life is a barrel of laughs!

#7 – I won’t get fat from all the great food they are consuming
I’m on a diet (she says as she crunches through a handful of chips).

#8 – I won’t embarrass myself singing karaoke or sucking badly at roulette
Nothing is worse than looking bad in front of friends (and having pictures to prove it).

#9 – I don’t need to meet all those wonderful people
I can talk to them over FB, right?

#10 – I don’t need to travel to another country and see the sights
I can look at pictures.  I don’t need to see it for myself.  (sob) Right?

Are there any reasons you are glad you aren’t there?

How to contact Renae:

Twitter:  @renaekkaye

1 comment:

  1. Thanks for trying to help with the #GRLJealousy. Maybe we should consider ourselves part of some elite club now that we have our own hashtag. :)