Tuesday, October 28, 2014


<Sean> hey
<BA> Boo, y'all
<Sean> yes, boo!
<Sean> Halloween!
<julia> waves
<Sean> in five days
<BA> O.o
<julia> yay Halloween
<BA> I haven't watched Halloween or Deep Blue Sea or the Haunting of Hell House ONCE
<BA> I've got to get on it
<Sean> sounds like you have some catching up to do!
<julia> we have no candy
<Sean> you still have a few days to get some
<julia> and lots of kids in the new neighborhood
<BA> we have a bowl with skeleton legs
<Sean> get the little mini-chocolate bars
<Sean> those are the best
<Sean> and yes, I'm channeling Rock right now
<BA> we need something lit up
<BA> heeeee
<Sean> and I may have eaten my share of Halloween candy already...
<BA> I've been on a bit of a candy corn binge
<Sean> believe it or not, I don't like the candy corn
<BA> you're a freak of nature
<Sean> I know it's un-Halloween of me
<Sean> but there you have it
<Sean> nods-- I am
<BA> candy corn is the perfect candy
<Sean> it has a taste to it, that I don't appreciate
<Sean> and it smells funny
<julia> she likes the green apple candy corn best
<julia> I like the caramel apple
<BA> nods
<BA> I do
<BA> the apple pie candy corn is also good
<Sean> green apple, apple pie and caramel apple?
<julia> no one should ever have to see a close up of Alton Brown's beard
<Sean> these are not candy corn
<BA> nods
<BA> they are too
<BA> says so on the bag
<Sean> are they orange and yellow and white?
<BA> no
<Sean> then they are not candy corn
<julia> nope
<BA> the green apple are red and green and brown
<julia> they're red and brown
<BA> the caramel are brown and yellow and white
<julia> and caramel colored
<Sean> of course, as the only one who does not like candy corn, my vote may be taken with a grain of salt
<julia> what's your very favorite Halloween candy, Sean?
<BA> You're Canadian, you don't get to vote. ;-)
<Sean> LOL
<Sean> candy apples
<BA> grins
<julia> O.o
<julia> wow
<BA> Those are my daddy's favorite
<julia> nods
<BA> he LOVES those
<Sean> I love the crunch and the sweet followed by the tart of the apple
<julia> my mom used to steal my Snickers
<BA> I make a damn nice candy apple cocktail
<Sean> I don't like peanuts and chocolate together
<BA> (freak)
<Sean> you know, maybe I am a freak
<Sean> *grins*
<julia> dude
<BA> I want chocolate chip cookies
<julia> you so are
<julia> I mean
<julia> Reeses
<Sean> yuck
<Sean> Butterfinger -- yuck
<Sean> Snickers -- yuck
<Sean> mmmm chocolate chip cookies
<Sean> I can get behind those
<BA> see, you're a freak
<Sean> as long as you don't put peanuts in them
<julia> LOL
<BA> I love peanut butter cookies
<julia> pecans?
<julia> walnuts?
<Sean> pecans are okay
<BA> Sean hates walnuts
<Sean> I like walnuts in stuff, but if I have them raw they give my mouth hives
<julia> ah
<julia> hrm
<Sean> my favorite nut is the hazelnut
<BA> mmmm
<julia> I also like white chocolate macadamia cookies
<Sean> oh god, Julia yes
<BA> I love all the nuts
<Sean> those are amazing
<Sean> you are all the nuts
<julia> did I ever tell you my mall cookie story sean?
<BA> (note present company)
<Sean> heee, yes, ba
<julia> it's very fitting for Halloween
<Sean> then you must share it
<BA> I love this story
<julia> cackles
<julia> my friend from high school
<Sean> (aka, I can't remember if I've heard it or not)
<julia> we'll call him Michael to protect the innocent
<julia> Goes and buys a bag of white chocolate macadamia cookies at the mall
<julia> he sits on a bench to have one, next to a man who was already sitting there because it was close to Christmas
<julia> no empty seats
<julia> so he gets himself arranged, gets all his bags under the bench, then grabs his bag of cookies and pulls one out
<julia> the man next to him stares
<julia> rudely
<julia> wide eyes, clenched teeth, grippy hands
<julia> so Michael eats his cookie sloooooowly
<julia> licks it
<julia> moans
<julia> practically humps it
<BA> mmmmmmmm...yummy cookie
<Sean> lol
<julia> yes!
<BA> oooooooo....COOOOOOKIES
<julia> then proceeds to eat the whole half dozen just that way
<Sean> lololol
<julia> the man getting more agitated, more upset, freaking out
<julia> finally jumping up and wailing and running away muttering about the crazy bastard on the bench, right?
<julia> so Michael has a good laugh
<julia> thinking how he really got that weirdo
<julia> then?
<julia> he gets up, grabs his bags, and there's HIS bag of cookies with his various shopping bags
<Sean> OMG
<BA> heeeeeeeee
<Sean> *cackles*
<julia> yes!
<julia> right?
<Sean> that's hilarious
<julia> he ate a whoooole bag of someone else's cookies
<julia> I can't believe the guy never said anything
<Sean> I know, eh?
<BA> nods
<Sean> all he had to say was, why are you eating my cookies?
<Sean> or hey, those are my cookies!
<Sean> *anything*
<julia> I think he thought Michael was a serial cookie killer
<Sean> heeeee
<BA> or, what the fuck is wrong with you you insane asshat
<julia> heee
<julia> that also works
<BA> which is what I would do
<julia> I would have quietly gotten security
<julia> but hey, I am somewhere on the law abiding scale between BA and Sean
<Sean> heee
<BA> *grins*
<julia> BA being the least
<BA> What are you trying to say, now?
<julia> Sean being the most of us
<Sean> how much of a serial cookie killer does Michael look like?
<julia> well
<Sean> I mean, the licking and moaning over it wouldn't have helped
<BA> That I may have a touch of moral flexibility
<julia> he looked like Shaggy with black hair
<BA> rut-row raggy
<julia> yep
<julia> and more pimples
<julia> this was 1988 after all
<julia> I am not ashamed to say that was my senior year
<BA> *grins*
<BA> I was not a senior yet
<julia> snort
<julia> you are six months younger than me
<BA> what? it's true!
<BA> yep
<julia> yeah yeah
<Sean> is this the lets remind everyone Sean is older than everyone game?
<BA> you may be taller, blonder and hotter than me
<BA> but I'll ALWAYS be younger
<BA> heeee
<BA> you're older than Jesus, right, Sean?
<julia> ha!
<Sean> that's me
<julia> cackles madly
<julia> yes
<julia> decrepit
<Sean> decrepit
<BA> decrepit
<BA> :D
<BA> So, what's the scariest story you've ever written?
<Sean> hmmmm
<BA> I think mine is Redemption's Ride
<julia> uh
<julia> blink
<Sean> scary's not really in my repertoire
<BA> well, I know
<julia> oh I love redemptions ride
<BA> but I mean, scari-est
<julia> mine is probably um
<julia> poo
<BA> like my favorite of my Halloweeny stories is Fuck Forgiveness
<BA> you don't have a story called poo
<Sean> the tomb one, julia?
<julia> yeah
<BA> I think A Private Hunger, S
<Sean> nods - yeah
<julia> Tomb of the God King
<julia> oh man, yeah
<julia> Private Hunger is so weirdly Stephen King
<Sean> yeah, it's quite different from my usual
<BA> nods -- talk about Stockholm Syndrome. O.o
<julia> hot
<julia> but sad and scary, too
<BA> one of the dogs is pooting up a storm
<BA> O.O
<BA> *.*
<julia> now, that's scary
<BA> #.#
<Sean> ewwww
<julia> eyes watering
<julia> nose singed
<Sean> death immanent?
<BA> they look so harmless...
<julia> then boom
<BA> no
<BA> gas gas gas
<julia> does your dog poot a lot, sean?
<BA> heeeeee
<Sean> not a lot unless you feed him cheese
<julia> then all bets are off?
<Sean> but every now and then he tries to kill me with the gas
<julia> O.O
<Sean> he will also come into the room, poot and then run off again
<BA> was it Chile, J, that would look at her own butt when she pooted, like, OMGWHATWASTHAT?
<julia> yes!
<Sean> LOL
<julia> My mom had a German shepherd hound mix
<julia> and she would explode
<julia> then jump up and look and sniff her own ass
<Sean> lolol
<julia> as if she had no idea what that was
<BA> And then there was Lily
<BA> the farting pitbull of death
<Sean> heeeee
<julia> oh god
<julia> bark
<julia> fart
<julia> bark
<julia> fart
<BA> I tell, y'all, when she got into falafel, we had to LEAVE THE HOUSE
<BA> we were fixin to die for real
<Sean> heeeeeee
<julia> no falafel for the granny pibble
<BA> her tag on her collar?
<julia> LOLOL
<BA> true story
<Sean> *rolls*
<julia> god, she hated Halloween, too
<BA> Halloween
<BA> Independence Day
<BA> New Years
<julia> New Year's eve
<julia> winning Round Rock Express Home games
<BA> she ate an entire turkey the first year we had her
<BA> on Thanksgiving
<julia> was it cooked?
<BA> oh, yeah
<BA> cooked
<BA> sitting on the table
<BA> ready for carving
<julia> oh that blows
<BA> she grabbed it by the leg and headed for the backyard
<Sean> LOLOL
<julia> except no turkey for you
<BA> no turkey for me
<julia> only for lily
<BA> lots of napping for Lily
<julia> like going to BA's Daddy's house
<julia> no turkey for us
<julia> that was like a plague of locusts
<BA> I had the traditional spare ham
<BA> nodnods
<julia> we did at daddy's house too
<BA> my brothers can EAT
<julia> too bad I dislike ham ;)
<julia> so can your neices
<julia> ;)
<BA> and my nephew
<BA> one day we're at Daddy's
<BA> I swear to god, Sean
<BA> I ask my nephew, are you hungry?
<BA> "No, ma'am."
<BA> "Okay, but I'm making breakfast for your pappy, so you can have some."
<BA> I put a pound of bacon in the oven
<BA> I make 2 dozen biscuits
<BA> I start the sausage for gravy
<BA> la la la
<BA> He comes to sit at the counter
<BA> The biscuits come out and he grabs one.
<BA> "Can you make eggs, Aunt Pooh?"
<BA> "Is that real gravy, Aunt Pooh?"
<BA> "Is there more bacon, Aunt LaLa?"
<BA> I swear to you
<BA> this boy
<julia> <I'm LaLa>
<BA> who cannot weigh 60 pounds
<julia> and has a hollow leg O.O
<BA> ate a pound of bacon, four eggs, five biscuits
<BA> and was asking for more
<Sean> O.o
<BA> but he wasn't hungry
<Sean> but he wasn't hungry
<julia> heee
<Sean> imagine what he would have eaten if he was
<julia> his momma doesn't cook
<julia> so he expected it to be icky I think
<julia> ;)
<Sean> ah
<BA> nodnods
<BA> he's a hoot
<julia> and not so little anymore
<BA> when he was wee, he wanted to be a bullrider
<julia> though still tiny for his age
<BA> but now he's a firefighter
<julia> yep
<julia> he's a good kid
<Sean> cool
<BA> yeah
<BA> a good kid
<BA> he went to jail overnight last year
<julia> heee
<BA> what for?
<BA> (he's underage)
<julia> at a bonfire
<Sean> oh lord
 * BA cackles
<julia> such a Texan
<BA> His momma and daddy let him spend the night
<BA> ;-)
<Sean> heeeee
<BA> I have never done that
<BA> I did tell the officer that gave me my driver's test that I wouldn't pour his coffee anymore if he didn't pass me.
<Sean> lol
<BA> and I MAY have yelled at a traffic cop in Austin
<Sean> may have?
<BA> well
<BA> okay
<BA> I totally did
<BA> he TOTALLY deserved it
<BA> You know me, shrinking violet, law-abiding
<BA> (back me up here, guys)
<julia> heee
<julia> yep
<julia> you never got caught
<BA> shit no, you were in the car
<julia> heee
<BA> of course
<BA> the first road trip the three of us took together
<julia> snort
<BA> Julia threatened to fist fight me in a moving car...
<julia> now she's telling tales on us
<BA> *sings* Jesus take the wheel!
<julia> raining in San Antonio
<julia> traffic like hell
<julia> BA says, the urge to toss up my hands and yell Jesus Take the Wheel is huge
<julia> me?
<julia> I was having a bad day
<julia> I might have threatened beatings
<BA> might have
<BA> you scared Sean to death
<julia> heee
<julia> yeah yeah
<Sean> *grinds*
<BA> Are you grinding again?
<Sean> whoops
<Sean> no
<Sean> *grins*
<BA> heeeeee
<Sean> I'm too tired to grind tonight
<Sean> try me tomorrow ;)
<julia> cackles
<julia> and hugs
<julia> we should let you get to bed
<BA> tomorrow we turn in the keys to the rental
<BA> yay!
<Sean> good for you!
<julia> woot
<BA> nods
<julia> go us
<julia> okay
<julia> I have to go make cookies
<julia> :D
<BA> eeeee!
<Sean> mmmm cookies
<BA> *ahem*
<Sean> what kind?
<BA> I like to have a cookie.
<julia> chocolate chip
<julia> Gluten Free
<julia> :D
<Sean> cool
<julia> maybe with nuts if I can find them
<BA> I know where they are!
<Sean> not peanuts!
<julia> nope
<julia> pecans
<BA> It's the only thing in the entire damn house that I can find
<BA> but I know where they are
<julia> heee
<julia> waves and poofs
<julia> night y'all
<Sean> night
<julia> love you bye
<BA> night babe. Love you. :D
<Sean> you too :)

If you have a topic you’d like us to chat about, please let us know. We’re totally up for that. 

You can find us on Twitter at @seanmichael09, @juliatalbot and @batortuga.

Sean’s website is http://www.seanmichaelwrites.com 
Julia’s is http://www.juliatalbot.com
BA’s is http://www.batortuga.com
Sean -- https://www.facebook.com/SeanMichaelWrites
Julia -- https://www.facebook.com/juliatalbotauthor
BA -- https://www.facebook.com/batortuga

Thanks for reading!

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