Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Soap Nuts

WARNING - there are amazon links in this post that go to adult toys, among other things, with graphic pictures of said items - WARNING

<Sean> hello
<julia> Hey y'all
<BA> hola!
<Sean> 2 days!
<julia> two more days, Sean
<julia> yeah
<julia> hee
<BA> *bounces*
<Sean> nods
<Sean> can't wait
<BA> *grins*
<Sean> we are going to eat and see things
<julia> woot
<julia> yes
<julia> it's coooold
<Sean> and go places
<Sean> I like cold
<BA> My sister's here. Her flight today was cancelled. We told her, if we couldn't get her out, y'all would have to share the bed.
<BA> She's not a snuggler
<Sean> neither am I
<BA> ;-)
<Sean> that sucks about the flight, though
<julia> it does
<BA> nods -- what sucks is that they rescheduled her for 6am
<julia> they were not helpful at all
<BA> so she has to be at the airport at 4
<julia> though it makes me want to write stranded at the airport romance
<Sean> that's when I have to be at the airport on Tuesday
<Sean> I have a stranded at the airport romance story
<Sean> it's an xmas story, at that
<Sean> mmf
<julia> you have one of everything, Sean
<Sean> *waggles eyebrows*
<BA> hell, Sean has two of some things
<julia> I am not yet that prolific
<julia> woo hoo
<BA> so, I bought something for you yesterday, Sean
<Sean> what the hell are soap nuts?
<BA> okay, so
<BA> they are these nut deals
<BA> and you put them in a mesh bag
<BA> and you put them in your washing machine
<BA> and they make this all natural not scary don't be allergic to me laundry soap
<BA> and they work over and over
<Sean> ow, poor nuts
<Sean> ;)
<BA> and you won't get a rash on your heinie
<Sean> I'm not sure whether to be horrified or impressed
<BA> oh, be impressed
<BA> if they work, we're buying more
<Sean> nut soap....
<BA> soap nuts
<BA> pay attention
<BA> not nut soap
<Sean> yeah, but they make nut soap, right?
<BA> not soapy nuts
<BA> not soup to nuts
<Sean> soapy nuts are a good thing, especially if you're sharing the shower
<BA> http://greenvirginproducts.com/soap-nuts-1-kilo-deseeded-2-2-lbs-330-wash-loads/?gclid=CIzj3uq9gMICFYcCaQod_F4AFg
<Sean> the virgins are playing with nuts?
<BA> not
<BA> http://www.amazon.com/Fresh-Balls-The-Solution-For/dp/B004BC62MI
<julia> Fresh balls
<julia> OMG
<Sean> LOLOL
<Sean> both of those are hysterical
<BA> http://www.amazon.com/Fresh-Balls-The-Solution-For/dp/B004BC62MI
<BA> no
<julia> no?
<BA> http://www.amazon.com/Dude-Flushable-Dispenser-Fragrance-Naturally/dp/B00L1GHHV2/ref=pd_bxgy_hpc_text_y
<julia> the links are killing me
<julia> and I haven't followed them
<BA> http://www.amazon.com/Comfy-Boys-Intimate-Deodorant-Companion/dp/B00CSS3ZQ8/ref=pd_bxgy_hpc_text_z
<Sean> *cackle*
<Sean> can you see a series of stories?
<Sean> each one named after one of these kinds of products?
<BA> http://www.amazon.com/Fresh-Body-Dry-Balls-Ounce/dp/B00CFBFDHM/ref=pd_sbs_bt_5?ie=UTF8&refRID=0D9P4JW6KB8HH8M16JFD
<BA> Fresh Body Dry Balls
<BA> O.O
<BA> http://www.amazon.com/DZ-Nuts-Pro-Chamois-Cream/dp/B004DR7HWA/ref=pd_sim_bt_30?ie=UTF8&refRID=0FBS1678P3MZHKCCVRJ3
<BA> *looks at Sean*
<Sean> I'm telling you, story titles
<BA> I can see *you* writing a series...
<Sean> Fresh Body Dry Balls
<Sean> DZ  Nuts
<Sean> Comfy Boys
<Sean> Dude flushable
<Sean> Fresh Balls
<BA> http://www.amazon.com/Chamois-Buttr-Original-8oz-tube/dp/B000HZGTUS/ref=pd_bxgy_sg_text_y
<Sean> Chamois Butter Original
<julia> stop it
<BA> http://www.amazon.com/Chamois-Buttr-Eurostyle-8oz-jar/dp/B001C69L6K/ref=pd_sim_sg_5?ie=UTF8&refRID=0M9NW0J77D080K3FG8P3
<BA> Chamois Buttr Eurostyle
<Sean> Doing it Eurostyle
<BA> Did y'all know you could buy a 'love doll' on Amazon?
<Sean> man, it could be a fun series
<julia> http://www.amazon.com/Stubbs-Butter-Injectable-Marinade-Texas/dp/B00PACJ450/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1416188123&sr=8-3&keywords=texas+butter+injectable
<BA> http://www.amazon.com/Sexflesh-Giving-Gwen-Life-Size/dp/B00IPMUANM/ref=sr_1_6?s=hpc&ie=UTF8&qid=1416188091&sr=1-6&keywords=men
<julia> .man, it took me ten minutes to find an injectable texas butter link
<julia> and you trump me with a sex doll
<BA> is anyone else having Boxing Helena flashbacks?
<Sean> okay, so they can sell sex dolls, but if I have a cover  with a bit of flesh on it, they hide it?\
<BA> no shit
<BA> they have a whole bdsm section
<BA> http://www.amazon.com/Fetish-Fantasy-Extreme-Malpractice-Mask/dp/B00BGM1USW/ref=sr_1_7?m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&s=hpc&ie=UTF8&qid=1416188218&sr=1-7
<julia> grins
<BA> http://www.amazon.com/Strict-Leather-Ultimate-Dog-Hood/dp/B00AFRW7ZO/ref=sr_1_11?m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&s=hpc&ie=UTF8&qid=1416188275&sr=1-11
<julia> I bet they hide the gay sex dolls
<Sean> nods
<BA> I may have to get the dog hood and bedazzle it as art...
<Sean> LOLOL
<julia> cackles
<julia> bedazzle
<julia> vagazzle
<julia> whatever
<BA> I'm relatively worried about the hygiene of this one -- http://www.amazon.com/ieasysexy-Vibrator-Insert-Silicone-Stopper/dp/B00NMC5VFC/ref=pd_sim_sbs_hpc_3?ie=UTF8&refRID=1QXPAZXKMD041K453PDJ
<BA> (you need to put a warning on this post, Sean, because we'll get in trouble)
<Sean> yeah, these are some hard core toy links
<BA> http://www.amazon.com/Master-Series-Water-Based-Scented/dp/B00E1Q8RMC/ref=pd_sim_hpc_2?ie=UTF8&refRID=17JFDZEX8JJEEDP8YWAJ
<BA> Semen
<BA> Scented
<BA> Lube
<julia> That
<julia> is
<julia> disgusting
<Sean> lolol
<BA> (that's why you're a lesbian, love)
<julia> no
<julia> no one likes that smell
<julia> not even gay men
<BA> it has 85 reviews
<julia> shit, my books don't get that many
<BA> they like it more than my last book...
<BA> ;-)
<julia> LOL
<julia> no kidding
<BA> I think we broke Sean
<Sean> I'm still trying to decide if I should write a series based on those titles or not ;)
<julia> you can have a plumppussy stroker
<julia> http://www.amazon.com/Masturbate-Camelas-Plump-Stroker-Lubricant/dp/B00O4R5258/ref=sr_1_8?ie=UTF8&qid=1416188655&sr=8-8&keywords=sex+toys
<julia> but a buttcheek on a book cover is too adult
<Sean> yep
<julia> it boggles the mind
<julia> and now I'm depressed
<julia> we need to sing christmas carols
<julia> or plan the Thanksgiving menu
<BA> no
<Sean> oooo, naaughty christmas carols
<BA> it is not xmas time
<Sean> damn
<BA> not until after thanksgiving
<BA> it is turkey season, damn it
<BA> gooble gooble
<Sean> gobble gobble gobble
<BA> we should make fried brussels sprouts again
<julia> oh!
<julia> what is the worst thing your characters have mader for a holiday meal?
<BA> but not that awful brussels sprout salad from last year
<Sean> the fried brussels sprouts were awesome
<Sean> the salad sucked
<BA> hrm...
<BA> Sonny's moonshine soaked fried turkey?
<julia> heee
<BA> Dillon tried to make pumpkin chiffon cheesecake once
<julia> oh man
<julia> let's see
<julia> Jonny tried to cook a turkey breast for Luc one year
<julia> blackened doesn't even begin to cover it
<Sean> lol
<BA> kitty jerky!
<Sean> wouldn't that be jerky made out of kitties?
<julia> Jed bought his marshmallows for sweet potato casserole from the convenience store one year
<BA> ew
<julia> and all they had left were the mini rainbow ones
<BA> You have a point
<BA> Okay
<BA> does anyone know what the fuck
<BA> that Fake Off show is?
<BA> O.O
<julia> I think it's a dance crew thing
<Sean> never heard of it
<julia> I bet they get sued
<julia> for the name
<BA> with dragons?
<julia> special effects
<BA> there are dragons in the previews
<BA> I'm very confused
<BA> I mean, more confused than normal
<Sean> heeeee
<julia> this is a serious thing then
<julia> man, I need to close the screen with the sex toy
<Sean> LOL
<BA> yeah, there was this giant floating pink dildo on her screen
<Sean> LOL
<BA> bobbing like a giant dildo thing
<BA> bob
<BA> bob
<BA> bob
<BA> O.O
<BA> *grins*
<julia> heee
<BA> Okay, we have to start supper. We're making risotto.
<julia> better than a turkey in the hot tub
<BA> Well, if we were Julia
<BA> or if J had a mouse in her pocket
<Sean> now I'm lost
<BA> or if I did more than drink the white wine
<BA> there's a great story about Tracy Lawrence (the singer)
<BA> where he was having a shitload of folks
<BA> over for turkey day
<BA> and the turkeys didn't thaw
<BA> so he put them in plastic bags
<BA> fired up the hot tub
<BA> and plopped them in
<Sean> LOLOL
<julia> <the military we is making risotto>
<BA> there you go
<BA> the we that doesn't require me to actually move
<BA> ;-)
<julia> nope
<julia> I'm on it
<julia> hugs sean
<julia> two days!
<julia> hugs
<julia> see you soon
<julia> poof
<Sean> see you in two days!
<Sean> night
<BA> Love you honey!
<BA> *kisses*
<BA> Night!

If you have a topic you’d like us to chat about, please let us know. We’re totally up for that.

You can find us on Twitter at @seanmichael09, @juliatalbot and @batortuga.

Sean’s website is http://www.seanmichaelwrites.com
Julia’s is http://www.juliatalbot.com
BA’s is http://www.batortuga.com

Sean -- https://www.facebook.com/SeanMichaelWrites
Julia -- https://www.facebook.com/juliatalbotauthor
BA -- https://www.facebook.com/batortuga

Thanks for reading!

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