Wednesday, March 11, 2015

Sucking on Condoms

Dear Andrew

First I want to say I love it when authors answers the readers question and you do a marvelous job at it. My question is in all the books I have read the men always use condoms for protection but isn't that irrelevant when they give bj's and swallow?

Thanks again for doing this and I love your books.

Dear Theresa

Thank you so much for sending a question and I'm glad you like the column.  I love answering questions and talking in general, so this falls to one of my strengths.  :)  Just ask anyone who knows me, I tend to run on at the mouth, and sometimes the fingers when typing...   Anyway to get to your question, the simplest answer is that oral sex is considered much less risky because of all the digestive juices and saliva in the mouth and stomach.  However there are exceptions, if there are open sores or you are particularly prone to cold sores and that sort of thing.  Other types of sexual intercourse are considered much more prone to disease transmission, specifically HIV. 

I do want to caution at this point that I am not a scientist or a doctor, just an author.  And I also want to say that as authors we can sometimes take some liberties.  Please remember that we are writing romance novels and that while protection is often mentioned, we are not, by any means, writing safe sex manuals.   Safe sex practices are important and each person needs to make the decision regarding the use of protection with their partner very carefully. 

There is also one other thing to consider.  Romance stories are often about the emotion and feeling involved during sex as well as the act itself.  I can tell you from experience that there are few things yuckier, that's my opinion anyway, than sucking on latex.  (I will say that if you feel that its important for you to use condoms during oral sex, get the flavored kind.  It helps.)   When Dominic and I first started going out.  God he's going to hate me for this, we used condoms for everything.  Needless to say, while I hate needles, we got tested as soon as we agreed to be exclusive.  (He held my hand while they drew the blood because he's that sweet.)  I think I did a happy dance when condoms were no longer necessary. 

Hugs and Love

Ask Andrew is your chance to ask questions of a gay romance author.  The questions can be about the writing process in general, writing sex scenes, gay men, sex, characters in romance, characters having sex... okay you probably get the picture.    I promise to answer your questions as frankly and with as much humor as I possibly can.

So if you have a question, please send it to  This is different from my usual email so your questions don't get lost.  I will answer one question a week.

Please remember this is meant to be all in fun.  (I was going to say good, clean fun, but who wants that.)    So send me your questions and let's see what mischief we can get into.

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  1. Great answer Andrew! Very correct & each person is responsible for their own health.

  2. I love the Q&A. Great answer, Andrew! I hope Dominic doesn't hurt you! lol

  3. I love your response, Andrew. Real life is sometimes far removed from romance novels. :)

  4. It is indeed the emotion that keeps me reading your books. The Q & A was very good as just plain common sense. But we women sometimes don't have a clue except how we feel when we read those emotions.