Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Ask Andrew - Back to a Favorite Topic

Dear Andrew

My name is Stacey, I'm a huge fan of your writing. I am working on becoming a sex educator and I love learning every aspect I can. But my question is for personal reasons, you've probably already answered this but here goes: After anal sex, is it pretty normal to have cramps and discomfort. It's like my internal organs have to rearrange themselves every time.  I'm a lucky girl and my husband is blessed, so he rearranges things vaginally also, but we've tried many positions anally and I love it, just didn't know if the bodies reactions after are normal.  Sorry if that's TMI, I'm used to talking bluntly about sex. For some reason there is very little research and facts about anal sex. I used to work in an adult toy shop and I sold many anal plugs, but there wasn't much training on the subject.
Dear Stacey
To answer your question I'm going to dive into my personal experience.  In the heat of the moment during the height of passion, its everything goes, but afterwards that when we all have to deal with the aftermath.  And I can tell you that after anal sex I get some of the same reactions you describe.  I think once the daze of passion is gone, the body tries to return to normal and expel what it thinks doesn't belong.  Hence the cramps and discomfort.  This is, of course, part of the not so nice portion of sex that we as romance novelists gloss over. 
Also there's something else.  In order for Anal sex to be successful, the sphincter must be loosened up and during penetration, stretched.  However once sex is over the sphincter needs to return to its normal position and depending on his much stretching has been done, (you lucky girl)  that can take some time and produce some interesting sensations.  So you asked my opinion and I'm going to say that what you feel seems perfectly normal to me.  Over time if anal sex is part of your regular sex life, I suspect that those sensations you describe will lessen, but they may never go away.
Great question Stacey and I hope my answer helped you. 
Ask Andrew is your chance to ask questions of a gay romance author.  The questions can be about the writing process in general, writing sex scenes, gay men, sex, characters in romance, characters having sex... okay you probably get the picture.    I promise to answer your questions as frankly and with as much humor as I possibly can.

So if you have a question, please send it to  This is different from my usual email so your questions don't get lost.  I will answer one question a week.

Please remember this is meant to be all in fun.  (I was going to say good, clean fun, but who wants that.)    So send me your questions and let's see what mischief we can get into.

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1 comment:

  1. Very well said. I love your straightforward and easily understood answers.