Wednesday, March 29, 2017

Ask Andrew - And We're Back to Sex

Dear Andrew

I haven't had sex with my husband in a year.  We're in our fifties and things have really slowed down for us.  Is this normal?"

B. R.

Dear B. R.

I have to be honest with you, I don't know if this kind of interval between making love is normal or not, but I suspect so.  Dominic and I have been together for over twenty years and things between us have slowed down in the bedroom, but they're no less intimate.  Personally I have discovered the joy of cuddling and holding each other.  Life is demanding and sometimes its nice to be still with another person for a while.  But that doesn't mean sex has stopped all together, nor should it.

As we get older our bodies tend to slow down some, especially after 50.  Our bodies lose some of the drive and vigor of youth.  But that shouldn't mean the fun is over and sex is a thing of the past.  It just means that a little extra effort may be required

My advice is if you want to put the spark back into your relationship, break out of your routine.  Go somewhere fun and sexy.  To a spa, or to a hotel with one of those in room Jacuzzis.  Take you and your husband out of the house and into a place with some sexual energy and see if that doesn't spark a little love action.   Relationships are work, but sometimes we need to rediscover the fun and joy of being in love. 

Hugs and Love Always

Ask Andrew is your chance to ask questions of a gay romance author.  The questions can be about the writing process in general, writing sex scenes, gay men, sex, characters in romance, characters having sex... okay you probably get the picture.    I promise to answer your questions as frankly and with as much humor as I possibly can.

So if you have a question, please send it to  This is different from my usual email so your questions don't get lost.  I will answer one question a week.

Please remember this is meant to be all in fun.  (I was going to say good, clean fun, but who wants that.)    So send me your questions and let's see what mischief we can get into.

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