Saturday, March 11, 2017

Why Do I Listen To My Doubts? By S.C. Wynne

Good Morning all you little Cafe Risquers!

If things didn't fall apart, I should be in Catalina right now. I'm nervous about the trip. Not because I hate traveling, although I do hate living out of a suitcase. But it's more that many of the people I'll meet in Catalina are people I only know online.

I've always felt that I do best online or when there's a small distance between me and the other people. I'm basically shy. I've felt this way since I was a kid. Like if people get to know me too well they'll find out I'm a fraud. Not as clever as they might think. Or not as pretty as they might think. Or not as INSERT INSECURITY HERE as they might think.

I don't suppose I'm the only person who has these feelings. But maybe I am? Do you have the same kinds of thoughts? I was tempted to not go on the trip because I'd always rather put things off and do them when I'm either thinner, or I've been exercising or my skin is better or ... I guess when I feel more perfect? As if that is anything I would ever even achieve. Waiting for that perfect moment will simply make you avoid and miss many wonderful opportunities in life.

So unless something huge happens to interfere, I should be in Catalina when you read this. I wonder if I'm having a nervous meltdown or enjoying the moment? I certainly hope it's the latter since, let's face it, it's all in my hands anyway. I'm the master of my ship. And you're the master of yours.


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